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Wednesday, July 30, 2003

The Greatest Day

Favourite thing at the moment: 24. Here’s why.

Jack Bauer - Here’s how to act like Kiefer, it’s very easy. Step one, you should master staring around a corner with a gun, and then breaking out into a run. And Step two (worryingly, the final step) you should be able to breathlessly state ‘you have to believe me, Mr President/Kate/Tony’ with an insistent look. You should grab your charge’s shoulders if they are female to show you are stronger than them and therefore must be trusted. If they are male, stare imploringly up into their eyes as you are only three foot four, yet you are demonstrating your whippet-like abilities at speed and reasoning.
These are all you will need to support yourself in a mainstream primetime hit.

Kate Warner - Jack is Doctor who, Kate is the companion. She is onboard to ask the questions that the audience are *supposed* to be asking like ‘What’s a datachip, Jack?’ or ‘What are foreigners, Jack?’ rather than the ones the audience is actually asking like ‘Did he get fatter than last hour, Jack?’ Sarah Wynter’s quite an attractive actress, though is playing Kate with one constant expression: complete confusion, combined with a down turned mouth of crumbling horror. You get the same wide-eyed look if you hold the tail of a rainbow fish and spin it several times above your head.

I would imagine.

Kim Bauer - And now the cream of the crop. Poor old dim Kim, she has become one of the funniest characters in TV and one of the main reasons we were watching the show. A pivotal part of the first season, she has been side-lined to comic relief in the second season, all in the aim to show what’s happening to the ‘everyman’ during a bomb threat in LA. Well, she would be an ‘everyman’ if she actually listened to advice - her dad says ‘Get out of LA’ - she comes back someone’s kid. Then she gets charged with murder after the police find a dead body in her car. After too-in and fro-ing, she makes her escape, and at the point where the producers run out of things to happen to her, she goes into the middle of the woods in the night and gets her foot caught in a cougar trap for an hour. Brilliant. Oh, but she gets better - she’s released by a nut-job with a shotgun, and he says ‘Well, you could go back to the road over there with safety and lights, or you could come back with me to my darkened cabin where no-one’s around?’ Fade back up from adverts and she’s piling through the door, taking off her top and jumping into the shower.
We love Kim. I like the idea that this isn’t an unusual day for her, and that Jack’s always getting calls via CTU for her. ‘What is it now, Kim?’ / ‘Dad ? I’m trapped in a blazing lift with a bear! Help!’ etc etc repeat to fade.

Tony Almeda - obviously when CTU exploded, the donut machine landed *very close* to his desk.

Robert Warner- Up until 11am, it looked like most of the villains had grown a goatee in order for you to helpfully identify them as bad - including the white-clothed Mr Warner. When Sherri Palmer turned up, I was at least expecting her to have a strappy beard held on over her ears with elastic. Oooh, but didn?t she look *evil* when she gained access to the President’s lair? It was like that time that Doogal found himself in the land of the sugarlumps? so, speaking of witch (sic):

Sheri Palmer- Love her. Gay icon. Season one: bomb goes off in her hotel - she goes off to fix her hair. Season Two, complete and utter bitch. I’m looking forward to the end where she seizes power from everyone and becomes President of the World and makes them all have relaxed afros. Yes.

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