Journey through space to the Planet Fabulous, where the Ruler of the Universe will see you shortly.

Thursday, August 28, 2003


It’s been an odd old day in my fabulous media job. For one, I had to do some work instead of surfing Edison’s All-Electric Interweb for pornographic material and remixes of Girls Aloud tracks. It’s most unfortunate; I typed so fast that, like Superman in his first movie outing, I travelled back in time forty minutes and had to attend the same meeting twice. Still, I managed to get dibbs on the cream horn. And I also managed to blow Paul’s argument out of the water by having almost three quarters of an hour to hone a well-turned phrase that was both witty and informative.

It seems anyone can be Oscar Wilde with a forty minute run up.

The second oddest thing is that we had a very large Easter egg delivered. As this is neither Easter, nor the weather for large quantities of chocolate, we all wandered whether a large chocolate cuckoo was doing the rounds. Then we had a memo arrive telling us that f-list celebs were trying to get into media headquarters by the most unlikely of means, and we should all be wary of any strange delivery men or women with shades asking for mineral water and a car or where Lulu was.

So the rest of the afternoon was spent hitting the egg to see whether it resonated with Bonnie Langford.

Now say what you like about Bonnie Langford, and you probably will, but I quite like her. Let’s face it, she’s no Su Pollard, can sing and was just fabulously daft in Doctor Who. Su Pollard can’t and wasn’t. End of argument as far as I’m concerned.

Oh the egg. It contained a Nolan sister, it turned out, primed and ready to go off as soon as someone applauded. We managed to call the Spotlight Disposal Squad and it was taken outside and disposed off with no life lost.

Let that be a lesson to you all.

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