Journey through space to the Planet Fabulous, where the Ruler of the Universe will see you shortly.

Monday, August 11, 2003

Wandering Around In A Gayze

I have to say that I’m not enjoying this heat one iota. I feel if you are in bed awake at two in the morning covered in sweat, you should have more to show for it than a slowly deflating pot plant in the corner of your room.

Apparently I have an Italian heritage somewhere on my mother’s side, but as she’s always slightly vague about the whole affair, I can only assume it means that my great grandmother tried a pizza once in 1932 and was instantly ostracised by the whole street. This may attribute to my slightly swarthy looks and fondness of pasta, but you would think that I would be able to handle temperatures over 25 degrees Centigrade.

But as it stands, temperatures ‘soared’ to over 100 degrees Fahrenheit for the first time ever. Temperatures always ‘soar’ whenever you have to take your parka off, never ‘rise’ or ‘ascend’ in a similar manner to dinosaurs only ever ‘roaming the Earth’. Never let it be said that dinosaurs ran, jumped, or skipped upon the Earth and this is why they probably died out of boredom.

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