Journey through space to the Planet Fabulous, where the Ruler of the Universe will see you shortly.

Wednesday, September 24, 2003

Form An Orderly, Talentless Queue!

You will be pleased to know that when I leave you this weekend for the shores of the US, the universe will not be without a z-list rudder to guide it through the fortnight. Didn’t we have such fun last time when Linda Barker took over the managerial duties for the day? No? Oh. Oh well, don’t worry, we have a cavalcade of former daytime TV presenters, failed popstars and reality TV stars popping in to oversee the planets! Already confirmed to appear are:

Maggie Philbin!
Lindsey Wagner (only because we told her there was a Lifetime movie being filmed in our back bedroom about a girl with cancer)
Emma Bunton (only because we told her there was a free pasties in our back bedroom)
Des Lynam, star of the Sure deodorant commercial!
Former Doctor Who companion Sarah Sutton!
And Grange Hill’s Michael Sheard. Because you can’t keep him away from these things!

Leave me a comment as to who you’d like to see running the universe while I’m over playing with the yanks, and I'll drop a line to their agents. Otherwise, I’m determined to find out whether these Americans really are hung like draft excluders.

Frankly, I find that very hard to swallow.

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