Journey through space to the Planet Fabulous, where the Ruler of the Universe will see you shortly.

Thursday, November 27, 2003

Water, Water Everywhere, And Only Two Schoolgirls to Dispose Of

I’m rapt by the Huntley and Carr murders at the moment, mostly by the sheer open-mouthed audacity of Mr Huntley’s defence. Firstly he didn’t kill them, he hadn’t seen them, now it’s turned into a French farce where someone slipped over in the bath in an inch of water and drowned. Next week, the details to be released will involve a vicar entering the bathroom with no trousers and a French maid trying to hide behind the boiler, while a brass band waits to play ‘Capstan’ outside at the first sign of someone’s knickers.

Frankly, babies may drown in an inch of water because they can’t turn over. Teenage girls - no.

I questioned Gertie on why exactly it’s taken so long for this man to come to trial as he’s so worryingly and obviously guilty, and he correctly states that reports need to be run, and the full evidence collated. Although it felt like an age before he was brought to the bench, it was in fact only three months. During which time he attempted suicide twice.

Presumably, one guard thought the worse when they saw him drawing a bath with an inch of water in it.

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