Journey through space to the Planet Fabulous, where the Ruler of the Universe will see you shortly.

Wednesday, May 05, 2004

A Rant. Look Away.

While I’m not as imperious as my good friend Jayson – who would gladly bring about the return of the Empire at the drop of his stylish trilby - I do bemoan the way we seem to have let the laymen get away with it for the last fifty years.

Take my boiler, which has been without a flame within longer than Wendy Richard’s rotting carcass. With two Men Who Are Good Listeners within our home, it was a matter of urgency that we got someone out, as you must be aware our skin-care alone cannot lapse a day. So we were delivered a rather sulky youth mid-last week, who promptly took it apart, whistled, and said the immortal “Sorry, mate. I haven’t got the parts”.

To which, he left the boiler half assembled, like a dog pissing on his territory.

He was due to return yesterday. Did he? Did be bogroll. And this is the rub: we expect them not to turn up. We expect them to do a bad job. When did this become acceptable? By rights, he owes your glorious leader one day’s pay, but that would never wash in a court of law.

He is apparently turning up tonight, and alas I am out, else there would be some very sarcastic comments about his parents, his abilities to keep time, and his attitude. I dislike being held to ransom by someone with a YTS.

There. Rant over.

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