Journey through space to the Planet Fabulous, where the Ruler of the Universe will see you shortly.

Wednesday, July 28, 2004

And What Did We Learn This Weekend?

I don't often write about my dear Wife - one must keep some things secret and besides, he's far too high-brow to fit into anything as pink and silly as this blog. So you can imagine my surprise when I was flicking through my usual domain of the music channels, he calls me to stop at a V video.

This boyband quintet, V, are apparently the new 5ive. I must confess that I was only dimly aware of them, far preferring the original. Even the name (roman numerals, dear, roman numerals) hearkens back to those blissful hits we'd cover our walls with Smash Hits simply because of band member J Brown graced the cover.

Yes, I was 22 at the time. So, crashing on:

I carried on advancing up the channels anyway, convinced that he'd told me to move on to Classic FM, as he oft-wants to do whenever Girls Aloud come on. But he grabbed the control and turned it back to the pop moppets dancing around, what appears to be, an ice-cream van.

"What?" he asked. I must've had some look on my face. I think it was incredulity, but I can't be sure. I asked him why we'd stopped.

"Ah, look. That one there," pointing into the maelstrom of teenage dancing and puberty. "He's bloody lovely!"

I blinked. This was wrong. My Wife fancies classical musicians. He does his gym workout to lesbian singer-songwriters.

"Look at him! He looks like a porn star," he said, somewhat lasciviously.

Good lord. Porn? My vision seemed to darken as I clung to the edge of the sofa as the world suddenly seemed so suddenly unearthly and strange...

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