Journey through space to the Planet Fabulous, where the Ruler of the Universe will see you shortly.

Friday, July 23, 2004

Things To Make And Do!

Well, look! The sun's shining and it's nearly pub o'clock, which can only mean that it's almost the weekend! And we here at Glitter for Brains, shall take you under our drag-like feathery wings to give you advice on Five Fabulous Things you may like to do over the next two wondrous days!

Sneak into Gentlemen's Clubs!
No, not the ones that comes with a free towel and a locker key when you get through the door. The other type - with memberships and surly waitresses! We Glitterites spent the whole of last weekend banding around these exotic locales, drinking cocktails and molesting celebrities - including former Doctor Who companion Mary Tamm! Although we couldn't get her to recreate this fabulous screen-grab from The Androids of Tara, no matter how much champagne she drank!

The Fourth Segment appears to be... my tuppence!

Speaking of which!

Drink Champagne!
Dear Rachel Stevens is currently advising us that the said tipple of choice does indeed make everything taste better-better, but by how much? We'd like to know! Because we rather like pie charts.

So, are any readers going to a funeral this weekend? If so, why not take a bottle of Bollinger! You could then tell us whether it does manage to alleviate the mood. Not only will it help us complete our empirical test, but will also make you look like a rather heartless fiend, and you're only there for the reading of the Will. Which we know you are because you're our friends, and we wouldn't want it any other way. Bless.

We would also like to point out that, after sneaking into said gentlemen's clubs, we say that champagne may make certain things taste better-better, but is just doesn't taste half as nice unless it's nicked or free.

Rediscover an Old Album!
Everyone has a summer album from years gone by - why not dig it out? We here are recently reliving the joys of Pulp's Different Class from the summer of 1995, which was just at the start of the healing process when we were horribly dumped by our boyfriend at the time. The little oik had run off with our best friend after walking out on us on Valentine's Day - oh, you couldn't get more soap opera!

And, while we did drink champagne at his funeral, we'd still like to hear from other readers as to their champagne/funeral views, as this memorial service was more a birthday present from our Evil Best Friend Declan (chink!).

Those of you outside London, why not come to our fabulous capitol? It's quite nice during the summer months, and there are parks and picnics and pony-rides and everything! And those of you inside London, why not visit the countryside? Our world doesn't necessarily stop at Zone 4, you know (although a great deal of civilisation does, so do take a large, fabulous hat and an English-To-Yokel guide with you). You'll all love the change of pace, we're sure.

Indeed, if you're feeling the need to be bustled around by arguing same-sex couples, why not go to IKEA? It's charmingly out of the way! And for an extra bit of fun, do what we Glitterites did on our last visit and set all the alarm clocks in the cavernous warehouse to go off at 5 minute intervals. Oh, how those plodding shop assistants run like headless chickens at the sound of numerous alarms!

Play Board Games!
They're the new rock'n'roll, you know! Dust off your Mousetrap, or get your fingers around someone else's Ludo - there's fun to be had a mere toss away! And don't forget those dusty old games where there's pieces missing - why, even they can play a part in your weekend! Why not simply combine all the spare games and all the rules to make one enormous board as we did the weekend before last? Oh, how the Glitter Towers shook with mirth as we all tried to win Guess Who's Buckarooing the Hungry Hippo's Downfall!

There! We hope you find that informative and wondrous. If you try any of the above, we'd love to hear about it. Try all five, and you'll get a badge with 'I Really Should Stay In More!' on it! Have a nice weekend!

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