Journey through space to the Planet Fabulous, where the Ruler of the Universe will see you shortly.

Friday, August 20, 2004

Things To Make And Do - Extreme Sports!

Ah, look! It's Friday! And as the time crawls oh-so-slowly towards pub o'clock, you really should down tools and plan what to do over the two glorious free-standing days that lie before you! We've previously told you of Five Fabulous Things you may want to try over the weekend, but why not try something a little more extreme? Ah, go on - it's sunny! Give it a go!


Stalk Someone!
For this uproarious game for all the family, you and a friend of a similar disposition must idly wander the streets until you see someone you both fancy. Then - oh, what japes! - you follow them wherever they go! We Glitterites state that this is more than an ideal way to discover places you've never been before, and you get to stare at a pretty bottom as you do!

The game is only over when a) you both see someone else who is far prettier, meaning you must now follow them, or b) you are discovered to be stalking by your stalkee.

For advanced players in this country's capitol, why not get a Zone 1-6 travel card and follow your said stalkee wherever they go! Even to their house! And if you do make it to their house, it simply means that it was destiny that the two of you should be together and you should feel free to post cards, flowers and dead animals with 'I love you!' torn into the flesh through their letterbox until they see sense and call! And not the police!


Find God
Have you looked down the back of the sofa lately? What about under that fridge of yours? He could be there!


Create a Cocktail!
We see this as public service. Get all those bottles that have been cluttering up your 'drinks cabinet' - including some of that industrial paint-stripper you bought at Spanish Duty Free to get rid of the last of your pesetas, and mix it together in new and interesting ways! Our own personal favourite was The Rainbow, where we blended drinks of red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo and violet together, and spent the rest of the weekend blind and believing we were one of those little birds that cleans the inside of crocodile's mouths!

We highly recommend this for this weekend as the Olympics will be on.


Discover New Uses for Pringle Tubes!
Why, these cardboard coffers are not just for storing high-in-fat crisps - a mere glance at these wondrous tubes should give you a gamut of ideas! For example:

* With a little bit of wrapping paper, you can make a rather pikey vase!
* With two, you could make some rather fabulous costume binoculars! (we have discovered that if you prefix 'costume' to anything, it means 'it doesn't really work'. Like costume jewellery. Or 'costume singers' Atomic Kitten!)
* With two tied together with a piece of string, you can demonstrate the principles of sound transference to neighbourhood children! Despite them already being too busy texting each other!
* With sixty tubes, you could make a scale model of Stonehenge, and check whether those wacky druids really did create a workable calendar! For extra authenticity, why not sacrifice a hamster on your centre Pringles tube - ideally, the Cheese and Onion one - to try and bring about the end of the world? Although, on such a small scale, you'll probably only destroy your garden.

(Secretly, we'd also like to get four Smartie tubes, as suggested by some wag on Channel 4, and put them on our cat's legs. There is no real reason for this other than it would hilariously make it walk like a robot.)


Go Clubbing In The 1920s!
Look, if Girls Aloud can do it, so can you!


We hope that you find that interesting and marvellous! Now, get to it - the sun's shining!

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