Journey through space to the Planet Fabulous, where the Ruler of the Universe will see you shortly.

Monday, September 06, 2004

Choppy Seas

And what have we learned over the weekend?

Well, we've learned that you should never go for a hair cut when your Gay Card has been rescinded. This is utterly true: I go to the hair-dressers on Friday and ask for my usual stylist. "She's left," I'm told. Although I can still see her handbag in the staff area at the back. And a lump behind the curtain that may or may not be someone's feet.

I'm shown to my chair. "Instead, you can have Iris," it is announced. Iris is a scary little pixie who doesn't speak a word of English who I've never seen at the place before. While I mime what I want done to my barnet, she nods, smiles, and appears to hum her national anthem. And then attacks my hair with a ferocity that was probably previously reserved for attacking invading Russians.

The result? A severely unfabulous hair-do. I look like a bull-dyke.

This does mean war.