Journey through space to the Planet Fabulous, where the Ruler of the Universe will see you shortly.

Thursday, October 21, 2004

The Other Me

You know that advert for perfume with Beyoncé Knowles writhing around on a beach? You know, she's looking all sultry and singing 'I'm Wishing On A Star'? Yes, well - I was up for that.

No, I was. We'd got to contracts and everything, but then came the creative differences. I would only do it if I could sing Britney Spears' 'Toxic' but they felt that it "didn't key in with the advertising touchstone" And that the song had already been taken by an upcoming tampon advert, apparently.

Besides, do you know how painful it is to writhe with your undercrackers full of sand? Poor Beyoncé - oh, if she wasn't a Christian, the next man up her would be grated like a carrot.

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