Journey through space to the Planet Fabulous, where the Ruler of the Universe will see you shortly.

Monday, November 01, 2004

Happy Halloween

Halloween is always a busy time for my Evil Best Friend Declan. What with the veil between this world and the next being so thin, he's able to do a couple of things that he normally can't. Like get his shopping delivered, that sort of thing.

"I've been doing a quick inventory of my curses," he told me, steepling his fingers. I winced at this - bad things happen when he realises he hasn't met his quota. All I shall say is that it is possible that David Boreanaz once turned him down, and hence the former svelte heartthrob now waddles to work in a manner akin to a Victorian wardrobe being shifted.

He continued with a cheery air: "I've got two spare weight gains and an impotence you can have if you want. Just let me know!"

I loved the way he said it like a housewife cleaning out her fridge. Bless, he always gets very excited about this time of year, though you can always feel the disappointment that children no longer come to his door for the trick or the treats. He says that it's because he goes a little over the top, what with the gingerbread walls and trail of sweeties to the over-sized oven. I say that it was because of the time he gave a kid a Mars Bar with a razor blade in it three years back. He just sniffs, and says "Well, he was from a council estate."

I despair at times, I really do. I refused his kind offer of the curses (and the subsequently produced Mars Bar) and told him he'd better get going - he was pulling at the hem of his reaper's outfit in happy anticipation. He smiled, and departed with one final note:

"I've got a very special curse for Flatley this year," he said, over his shoulder.

Ah, jubilate!

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