Journey through space to the Planet Fabulous, where the Ruler of the Universe will see you shortly.

Monday, November 29, 2004

Of Golfballs and Wonderfalls

Right, you lot. Turns out I was a lot more sick than I thought I was. Here's a couple of things I found out in the last week...

My new doctor is one Dr Stefen Lipinski, out of Vienna. I don't like him. He initially claimed my lump was 'a spot'. When made to examine further, he said that I had 'a severe virus with infected lymph nodes'. Though my lymph nodes are apparently in the wrong place, and the words 'genetic abnormality' were banded about far too readily, I feel.

All elderly women behind the counter in chemists are monsters. It is probably because they haven't had anything up their clopper since decimalization, are drier than The Sahara, and then have to go and sell condoms.

'Tricia', our very own TV agony aunt, is as fabulous as it is rumoured to be.

Wonderfalls is the greatest show never made. And has elevated the beautiful Tyron Leitso (right) to Def Con Spangle.

Upon my return to work, I was asked how I was feeling by the very beautiful Armenian colleague who I've had a girlie crush on for a while. I said it was very much like trying to swallow something the size of two golf balls and you end up with a nasty taste in your mouth. He gave me a look that is going to make the company trip to Paris this weekend very interesting...

Headline over the weekend that a woman killed her child with too much salt. He son obviously being a slug, then.

The Wife kindly took me in and looked after me for the last couple of days of my Spectrox Toxemia. We were wondering why Girls Aloud weren't in the Band Aid 20, when they'd clearly got such 'luminaries' as Rachel Stevens and Will Young to pop in and screech into the Fairlight. "It's probably because they couldn't fit a white limo in the parking lot," said the Wife.

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