Journey through space to the Planet Fabulous, where the Ruler of the Universe will see you shortly.

Monday, February 21, 2005

Of Toothpaste And Pigtails

So what happened when I met housemate Jay's nine-year-old niece?

"Hello," I said, holding out my hand. I've heard that children appreciate being treated as adults. Which is odd, as most of the adults I know appreciate being treated as children.
She took my hand lightly, and stared up at me with large, dark eyes. They appeared to contain an awful lot of steel for someone half my height.
"I'm very pleased to meet you. My name's Lee," I said.
"I know," she said, in the matter-of-fact manner all nine-year-olds have mastered.
"And you must be Vivian," I added, feeling my friendly manner being completely lost on her.
She nodded.
"I'm going to call you Princess Vivian," I said, my largest smile rapidly becoming a fixed one.
She shook her head, pig-tales hitting her cheeks as she did.
"You don't want to be a princess?"
She shook her head again. Equally insistent.
"Well you have to be royalty when you're living with two queens," I said, smirking at Jay.
"Countess, then."
"I'm sorry?"
"I'd like to be a Countess, then," she said firmly.
"Countess Vivian?"
She nodded.
I sucked in air over my teeth. "Ok, that's perfectly reasonable. You do realise I'm going to come and annex your kingdom in the night?"
She shook her head. Well, that stopped that, then.
I stood up and looked over to Jay, acutely aware that Vivian's gaze hadn't left me at all.
"So, what are you two up to today?"
Jay pushed himself off the wall he was leaning against while he was watching the show. "We're going to the Aquarium, aren't we Vivian?"
She nodded.
I cleared my throat, and turned to Jay. "Could you get some toothpaste while you're out?"
"I have some toothpaste," came a voice from waist-height. "You'll like it," she said, still looking straight at me.
"Oh will I?" I said.
"Yes. It's pink. And has glitter in it."
I coughed unexpectedly. Jay hid his smile behind his hand and announced he was off to get his coat. I looked down at Vivian, who still hadn't stopped staring at me. I stared back for a bit, before 'harrumph'-ing and beamed sweetly.
"How would you know I'd like your toothpaste?"
"I had a look at your CDs."
"Er. Oh. And?"
"You have Girls Aloud. And Jamelia."
"So?"
"My sister has those. And she likes my toothpaste."
Irrefutable, then.
"I must be very fashionable, then."
"Yeah, but she's five..."
Oh.
 

1 comment:

Jenna said...

Yeah, I had one of those experiences too. Unlike yours, mine ended in a terrible way! You go girl! Love the way you put that kid in her place so discreetly! LOL. I never let my daughter get one of those glittered stuff on her teeth. Personally, I think something's just off with it.

Jenna Schrock