Journey through space to the Planet Fabulous, where the Ruler of the Universe will see you shortly.

Monday, March 07, 2005

Things I Learned This Weekend

1. Putting your diet on hold for an afternoon is a Good Thing. Although making melted-chocolate-and-glace-cherry toasted sandwiches is not really falling off the wagon - it's falling off, bouncing, and hitting oncoming traffic at speed.

2. The fourth season of 24 is hilariously incompetent. And contains an incredible amount of Evil Napkin Folding.

3. Going through your old VHS porn stash unearths some forgotten classics. Although do make sure you wash your hands between this and point 1. And, indeed, vice versa.

4. Holy Water tastes rather... plastic-y.

4. The fourth season of Alias is the best one so far. The title sequence (or 'Homage To Wigs Past...') still wanders in whenever it feels like it, clutching a Starbucks coffee and muttering about the trains, before sitting down and proceeding to call its friend in Accounts for an hour. The first episode had three wigs in the first fifteen minutes alone, but by far the most exciting moment for The Gays is a fight in a department store's clothing dept to 'Making Whoopie'. With the gorgeously predictable payoff 'She can have the blouse'.

5. While I do know some hilariously funny lesbians, it appears that Ladies Wot Lick who are now being drilled by a married man do not automatically inherit a sense of humour.

6. Never refer to these has-been lesbians as 'Has-biens'

7. Distressingly, Clintons do not do a range of 'See You're Off The Fanny!' birthday cards. Although I doubt she would have found that funny either.

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