Journey through space to the Planet Fabulous, where the Ruler of the Universe will see you shortly.

Tuesday, March 29, 2005


I'm thinking of changing my career. Well not drastically, but getting away from the place I'm in. There's only so many c-list celebs you can cut out to amuse yourself, it transpires.

I mean I'm not even meant to be doing this job - I only got it through a mate down a pub. And I only wombled into that because our careers advice at school was fairly useless, what with coming from some canal-moated 'Community School' in the middle of inner-city Birmingham. Most of us were expected to go and work in the castings factory down the road - highlighted by the way the two grounds were being extended to meet each other, and that the castings factory were starting to supply everything from the canteen cutlery to the text-books. I tell you, I know as much about cold-casting production lines as I do about human reproduction - and even then the often the two intertwined. I've never since the sexual act described by the model of a piston engine before or since.

Actually, come to think I was so confused by the whole event of sex that I had to be taken aside told by the Games Master. A man who had a penchant for hanging around the showers and flicking through Mens Health Magazine rather too slowly. Hmm. Suddenly it begins to get clearer...

Anyway, I digress. As I say, our careers advice was shite, and consisted of us having to tell the teachers what we wanted to do, and then them saying 'Have you thought about the castings factory down the road?' They even had t-shirts. I do recall being rather forthright about not going to the factory, and the teachers getting somewhat exasperated and then asking what I was good at. Which was very little - although I had gotten 10/10 for a sponge cake the week before. So for a whole week, I was going to work in the castings factory canteen.

I wanted something glamorous, something with excitement. I mean, they'd taught us all about being a shepherd in History, so why couldn't we be one of those? Or a Spinning Jenny Operator, which sounded utterly marvellous, despite the footnote about people regularly loosing hands, arms and heads in them. And I'm sure they went on to live full lives anyway as their jobs were so exciting!

So, here I am. At least I'm not at that castings factory, but if anyone has any design work they want doing, or a Spinning Jenny they want operating, I've suddenly decided I'm your man.

1 comment:

c'lam said...

i do need a blog redesign...

although i have noc cash to pay for it!