Journey through space to the Planet Fabulous, where the Ruler of the Universe will see you shortly.

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

The Deep North

ENTER COMEDY HOUSEMATE JAY, LAIDEN WITH SUITCASES.


JAY: What-ho, Beardface! I'm back!

LEE: Ah! Tea's on the table!

JAY: Why thank yo- eugh! It's cold!

LEE: Really?

JAY: It's got a skin on it.

LEE: But I made it just when you left to pop down the shops!

JAY: Pop down the shops? I've been to America!

LEE: Really?

JAY: Yes! I've been gone a week! Didn't you notice?

LEE: Er. Er... Yes?

JAY: No you bloody well didn't.

LEE: I thought you were sleeping in.

JAY: I was on the other side of the world, you hirsute fool!

LEE: Or there was a sale on or something. You do get very distracted in Games Workshop...

JAY: That was only the once, I tell you! And they were very nicely painted Chaos Lords, were the not?

LEE: ...

JAY: Anyway, I sent you a text message.

LEE: Yes, well, that. I was going to take you to task about that. You filthy beast.

JAY: What? It said, 'Enjoying the most delightful Yank. I'll take a photo'!

LEE: Oh. 'Yank'? Did it really say 'Yank'?

JAY: Yes. Why?

LEE: I thought your predictive text messaging was playing up.

JAY: Be quiet.

LEE: ...and you know the 'w' and the 'y' are on the same button...

JAY: You know what these are?

LEE: Your index fingers?

JAY: Yes, two of them. One for each of your eyes.

LEE: Ow! Stop that. So how was it?

JAY: The Colonies? Uneducated gun-toting savages the lot of them. Wouldn't know civilisation if it wandered in and offered them a nice finger buffet.

LEE: No, your tea.

JAY: Well, it just winked at me.

LEE: Hmm. I think it may have evolved in you absence.

JAY: You don't say. It's trying to put up shelves.

LEE: And hasn't it got a deep voice?

JAY: Good lord. What type of tea is it?

LEE: Camomile.

JAY: Ah. 'Lesbian tea'.

LEE: Ah well! That explains why it beat me at pool then!
 

3 comments:

Snooze said...

Brilliant, brilliant post. I'm still laughing over the text message.

cyberpete said...

Me too, absolutely brilliant!

j(aded) said...

"outrageously funny" - 5 stars!