Journey through space to the Planet Fabulous, where the Ruler of the Universe will see you shortly.

Monday, April 25, 2005

Something Warm Inside Me

Coffee I can take or leave. I know some people who can't even leave their bed without it, the odd, caffeine-addled fools. No, I require a different kick of a morning so I like to start each day with a lumber-puncture.

I'm sure there's an old thing about 'I like my men like I like my coffee - strong and black' but I have no idea where it started and I can't be bothered to go to Google because someone sawed my fingers off. I like my coffee with two lumps, which I suppose is far less lascivious, but takes one aged, mincing prune of a man who expressed an interest out of the running. Thankfully. I mean, if you've had one bollock off, would you have a propensity for wandering around in cycling shorts? No. But there he is, thrusting his meat and one veg into the eye-line of anyone who cares to look.

The tin of Tesco Classic Roast Coffee in our work kitchen (a couple of cutbacks at our Swanky Meedja Office means we have to start buying 'home brand', which is fine until you start getting to things like Tesco Value wallpaper, as white and blue stripes strobe so when hungover) proclaims that its flavour is 'rich and fabulous' which is probably how I'd really like my men, but is the sideline to that mean that they taste like grit, too?

And I'm sure one of my exes said he liked his men like he liked his coffee - 'thick enough to stand a spoon in it'. But I thought that was just silly. Or am I actually just being thick? And I know a couple of people who like theirs weak with a splash and I have no idea what that's meant to mean and so steer clear of those people in case they want to turn my head into a lampshade or something.

And what about tea? Is that sexy? 'I like my men like I like my tea...' could be terribly English. Though that would be 'I like my men like I like my tea - yellowish and milky' although it means that David Yip in his Chinese Detective make-up may become flavour of the month.

Just a thought.


Rob said...

Oh great. Now I have an mental image of your head as a lampshade.

Which considering my brain is also repeating Supersister's "Coffee" to me on infinite loop means I'm probably only minutes away from total mental collapse.

Oh... there it goes.

Eden said...

Strong and black... with a spoon in them. ;)

wonderful_electric said...

ok. I've seen many many strange comments on the net, but never the notion that David Yip would be a gay icon.

cyberpete said...

My chocolate should be dark, hot and rich

mainja said...

i have recently revisited coffee every morning. oh well.

i like my coffe like i like my men, tall dark and handsome. doesn't work as well does it? anyway, i don't like my men tall particularily.

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