Journey through space to the Planet Fabulous, where the Ruler of the Universe will see you shortly.

Friday, June 17, 2005

BlakeWatch: Ultraworld

Meanwhile, I have mostly been watching Blake's 7, a sci-fi show I've mysteriously managed to avoid for most my life. This is what I have learned from the episode 'Ultraworld':

Vila is teaching Orac SpaceJokes. Orac is a humourless computer that looks like - well, you know that box of tinsel and Christmas lights currently in the attic? Like that if it was made of Perspex. Meanwhile, the Liberator has come across a Mirrorball In Space. You will notice that there's a lot of this in Blake's 7 as the future appears to be Very Gay. I approve.

Cally doesn't like the Mirrorball, but Avon does - as every time they see an artificial planet, he is drawn to it like a fat secretary to a wine bar. Cally gets herself possessed. Again.

Possessed Cally is teleported over to the Mirrorball and placed in a 'Sleep Chamber'. Her colleagues go after her, examine her, but are not clued in to the Sleep Chamber having more flashing lights than a mobile disco, and therefore not really that conducive to sleep. It is also noticed that when Paul Darrow talks into his bracelet, he makes little dove hands.

Soon everyone is being held captive by people who look like middle-management. And Avon is also placed in a Sleep Chamber. They still haven't figured out that these things are no good, despite The Ultra having painted the outline of a coffin on it. Hmm. Avon will have his mind sucked out and placed into the Core as soon as he falls asleep. "I will not sleep... I WILL NOT SLEEP!" he yells, ironically stirring the audience.

Dana and Tarrant are running around the underground. The Ultras try to stop them by using The Evil Pointing Stick. This causes small theatre flashes to go off in the corridor, and causing Dana and Tarrant to get captured.

The Ultras request that Dana and Tarrant do SpaceShagging. 'We have no data on the Human Bonding Ceremony,' they say. Ultraworld is outside the broadcast range of BabeStation, clearly. Then the world moves for the Ultras and they Dana and Tarrant escape. Cally has dandruff and Orac saves the day. The end.


Miss Mish said...

I have a comment about the darling Gareth Thomas. I'll email you on Monday as it's nearly as good as the Tom Baker Incident

Owen Blacker said...

Where are you watching Blake's 7 season three?

Erm, not that I know it is *ahem*

And feel free to forward on commentary about the darling Gareth Thomas ;o)