Journey through space to the Planet Fabulous, where the Ruler of the Universe will see you shortly.

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Old Commotion

"Oh here we go," said one. "Old Comptons Street. This is where all the gays hand out."
"Heh. Backs to the wall," said the other.
"Heh," agreed the first.
You had to worry about their intelligence if they were wandering down here with that sort of attitude. They weren't that big, and they certainly weren't that clever. A gang of us could easily take them - or at the very least, encircle them both and point out how cheap their shirts were until they burst into tears. Interested, I fell into step behind them as they walked.
"We call it Bummer's Alley in the office."
"Heh."
"Hey, don't let them touch you. You may end up shagging one of them!"
I raised my eyebrows. Well. This was getting a little too much, even for me. I felt it was time to do my bit for Equality everywhere.
"Excuse me boys, but you do have nothing to worry about, " I said, swishing past. "You are, in fact, perfectly safe."
Their jaws slackened, unaccustomed to the idea that We May Talk.
"No, there's nothing at all to worry about at all. We do only sleep with the attractive ones."
That shut them up.
 

9 comments:

Rob said...

Yay you! Just what the little pricks deserved. Go Lee! Go Lee! Go Lee!

(Oh. Where did I get these pompoms from?)

Lee said...

You sprout them under more intense Gay Moments.

Concrete X said...

Are they like Martine McCutheon's Perfect Moments?

Snooze said...

Sigh. See what we single girls have left to choose from? Couldn't you have tried to convert them?

cyberpete said...

FAbulous Lee! You go girl!

Yammer Rancour said...

Check and Mate!

c'lam said...

well done - i always have those types of conversations well after the evnt, in a kind of "ah, that would've been so much cleverer"

Miss Mish said...

I once met a load of city boys in a bar before I went off to Compton street. They were attemtping to join us until I told them that the Ugly Police were on the corners and they'd gt thrown out. Then I left in a swish of silk, leaving them with my cocktail bill....

Owen Blacker said...

Lee, I *heart* you.