Several years ago, sitting around in our gentleman's club and smoking a fine Cuban (never got his name) my colleague Paul and I were accosted by an acquaintance of ours. Ribald comments were exchanged - several lewd suggestions too - all culminating in a wager being set.

We were bet that we couldn't go around London and take a picture for each line of Charline's 2am karaoke classic 'I've Never Been To Me'. The task must be done in one night, using no props (unless bought during the challenge) and stopping complete strangers in order to take part. Impossible, you say!

Well, almost.

Notes for the Straights and The Canadians:
Pleasuredrome is a mary sauna. It is far from being any sort of Xanadu at all thanks to so much ManJism flying through the air at one point, it is actually possible to get pregnant from the toilet seats.

And being subjugated by two women in nurses outfits was completely lost on us. Not even a stirring. Sorry. Anyway. Here we go.



hey lady, you lady


cursing at your life
you're a discontented mother


and a regimented wife


i have no doubt you dream about the things you never do


but I wish someone had talked to me like I wanna talk to you


oh, I've been to Georgia and California


and anywhere I could run


took the hand of a preacher man


and we made love in the sun


but I ran out of places


and friendly faces
because I had to be free


i've been to paradise


but I've never been to me...


please lady please lady


don't just walk away


cause I have this need to tell you why I'm all alone today
i can see so much of me still living in your eyes


won't you share a part
of a weary heart that has lived a million lives


oh, I've been to Nice


and the isle of Greece


when I sipped champagne on a yacht


I moved like Harlow in Monte Carlo


and showed them what I've got


I've been undressed by kings


and I've seen some things that a woman ain't s'pose to see


I've been to paradise


but I've never been to me...

Hey, you know what paradise is? it's a lie
a fantasy we created about people and places as we like them to be
but you know what truth is?


it's that little baby you're holding


and it's that man you fought with this morning


the same one you are gonna make love to tonight
that's truth that's love


sometimes I've been to crying for unborn children
that might have made me complete


but I, I took the sweet life
I never knew I'd be bitter from the sweet


I spent my life exploring the subtle whoring
that costs too much to be free


hey lady I've been to paradise


but I've never been to me...


We thank you.
 
// posted by Lee @ 10:16 AM //