Journey through space to the Planet Fabulous, where the Ruler of the Universe will see you shortly.

Thursday, September 29, 2005

Another Bite of the Apple

I think I've made my feelings about Apple products quite clear. While I applaud their notion of a nicely put-together package that looks good and goes with anything, it just never works. A bit like Jude Law.

Although I was thoroughly delighted to get an iPod for my birthday, in an overwhelmingly generous move by one of my favourite people on this world of ours. He got me an American one, which means it plays everything with a slight 'Neuw-Yawk' twang. But I've started to love it as the perfect emissary from that pitch-perfect utopia of Apple.

Well, until I dropped it. And it refused to talk to me, churlishly playing only Lulu for a full hour while it sulked. Which was no bad thing, ultimately

So I decided to bite the bullet and get a protective case for it, going into that very den of plastic iniquity, the Apple Store on Regents Street. Goodness. What a hideous place. They spent over two million pounds on it, and it looks like the inside of a new oven.

And the clientele are just mad. Every single one of them, wandering around with their white iPod earphones in, dazed and meandering through to each piece of equipment, emotionlessly coveting each ergonomic, wipe-clean piece of kit. Every one of them looking like they're receiving instructions from a higher power.

(shudder)

We are the Borg.
 

11 comments:

c'lam said...

but we do look stylish!

Lee said...

Nooo! They've got you too!

Dantallion said...

Put a decent wig and some silk pyjamas on Bill Gates, and he might actually make a passable Janeway antagonist to resist perfection. He's certainly gotten good at it.

St. Dickeybird said...

I've always thought Apple employees were part of a strange cult. With pretty stuff.

Darren said...

Well I've been using my Mac mini for 2 months now and it's lovely and quite and petite compared to my old nuclear reactor of a PC...

Still can't get used to Ctrl clicking though - makes doing some things that require a free hand quite tricky. And I'm not buying a "Mighty Mouse"... Well, until the wireless one comes out..

Oh, and can someone tell me where the hell the hash key is on a Mac keyboard? They're wonderful for creative software they say in magazines - until you want to specify a colour in hex! Grr...

CyberPete said...

If it wasn't because the Ipods are so expensive, I'd have gotten a pink one! I might go with the Creative Zen it might not come in pink but it is a non Apple product.

tornwordo said...

Frightening! Definitely the borg.

paddalumpakins said...

Oh my God. So well put. I think the entire city of New York is under their spell. They hold a lot of lectures in the store too, some of them are pretty big deal people. And I've seen pictures of the apple store in London. You're right, it does look like the inside of a new oven.

Cav said...

SSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHH! I'm reading this on a mac you know. For god's sake Lee, you do realise that any day now the fact that I've read this kind of talk on a mac will mean that even as I type a message is being winged to Steve 'One day I shall coat the entire world is tactile plastic' Jobs and the iPolice will come a-knocking on my door.

Wait... what's that. A knock on my door. Oh god Lee. What have you done to me...

The exile said...

I have just got my mini-iPod - which means I am like...one of the first in Russia to have one (so there!). But I bought it in France. I love the fact that the French instructions don't refer to a 'joypad' or click-wheel thingy. The French call it a soft-boiled egg. There is something rather 'sensuous' about stroking my soft-boiled egg for more David Charvet I feel...

mainja said...

borg indeed...