Journey through space to the Planet Fabulous, where the Ruler of the Universe will see you shortly.

Friday, September 09, 2005

Of Spain And The Spice Girls

Of course my life is fabulous. You wouldn't be here otherwise.

But yes, every now and again, it just veers into Surreally Fabulous. Like the time I shagged a gentleman who lived above a plastic surgeon specialising in breast implants. And the hilarity ensuing when he kicked me out in the morning, only to find one of the Spice Girls at the bottom of the stairs, waiting for the surgery to open and flicking through a magazine.

She didn't look up.

* * *

Other times its just accident prone.

Last night I had a job interview. I think it went well enough. But a note for my future self: when going to a party after an interview, buy your booze after you are seen. This will save you opening your portfolio and a bottle of vodka rolling under the desk of any future employee.

* * *

I'm going away for a fortnight.

You won't notice a thing.

No, I promise. I've got a guest writer coming in who's just brilliant. Far funnier than me, much to my chagrin. Check back on Monday to see what they're doing.

Me? I'm going to places Surreally Fabulous. And I mean that. Next week, I'm going to be in Wales working on TV's Doctor Who. Well, when I say 'working', I mean bunking off as much as possible to go and get my picture taken as Rose Tyler in the control room set.

The week after my loony mother is taking me to her second home: Spain. And no doubt encouraging me to dance on speaker cabinets while scoffing handfuls of what she calls 'ecstatic tablets'. The woman's got hollow legs when it comes to drink, as well.

Back soon. And - all of you - be fabulous.


Dantallion said...


Well, okay. Have a good time. And don't spend all your time thinking about us, as I'm sure was your intention.

tornwordo said...

Going away already? Again? Is Wales some kind of red-neck backwater where there's no internet? And I thought Spain had electricity by now... Alright, I'll read the damn substitute, and he/she better be funny.

Seriously though, have a fab time.

Broderick said...

Could the substitute perhaps be Evil Declan? Ooh, can it be, can it be??? 'Cause that would be so dreamy! [sighhhhh] New black and red background with H.P. Lovecraft quotes and everything!

Have a great time on your trip(s)!

mainja said...

doctor who? fun!

CyberPete said...

I thought you were going to pick me up in Denmark! Here I've been trying to recover from a terrible illness just to learn that you are standing me up.
Shame on you but I suppose I'd have to wish you bon voyage!

c'lam said...


anything i say here is going to sound jealous, whiney, and grudging.

Snooze said...

Awwww. I suppose you are allowed to continue your fabulous jet set life, but no more than two weeks.

craggles said...

Lee envy in your daliances soul buffering...your the vinegar in my chips ..the honey in my carrots ...the purr in my pussy

We in Oz so love G4B...
Thanks and enjoy your Hepatopathic Enebriation Sessions with Mama


Cav said...

But Lee, I've only just found your blog how can you leave me soooooo soon.

Come back soon,


Hoodia said...

Help me Dude, I think I'm lost..... I was searching for Elvis and somehow ended up in your blog, but you know I'm sure I saw him in a car lot yesterday, which is really strange because the last time I saw him was in the supermarket. No honest really, he was right there in front of me, next to the steaks singing "Love me Tender". He said to me (his lip was only slightly curled) "Boy, you need to get yourself a San Diego cosmetic surgery doctor ,to fit into those blue suede shoes of yours. But Elvis said in the Ghetto nobody can afford a San Diego plastic surgery doctor. Dude I'm All Shook Up said Elvis. I think I'll have me another cheeseburger. Then I'm gonna go round and see Michael Jackson and we're gonna watch a waaaay cool make-over show featuring some Tijuana dentists on the TV in the back of my Hummer. And then he just walked out of the supermarket singing. . . "You give me love and consolation,
You give me strength to carry on " Strange day or what? :-)