Journey through space to the Planet Fabulous, where the Ruler of the Universe will see you shortly.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

A Warning to the Curious

A word to any of my male readers who burn a candle for the delightful Miss Cat Deeley:

The first employment I had upon my return to society was as a script consultant on a new Channel 4 programme going into production in 1996. It was a long-term project, in which a male transexual would infiltrate an unsuspecting media world, and see how far he'd get. I was brought in to put words into this young cuckoo's mouth: they wanted me to bring zip, spice, thrills and tang to the show... Or that may have been the campaign I was overseeing for Kentucky Fried Chicken at the time, I confuse the two... But still, I succeeded beyond my wildest dreams, and when I left the project for pasteurs anew (a PR role at a disinfecting plant in Bradford) the show's star - who I am definitely not naming - had just got a place hosting a Saturday morning televisual programme.

But anyway, not wishing to blow the surprise in advance of the Boxing Day broadcast, I recommend any square-jawed heterosexuals might want one last (ahem) flick through their back issues of FHM and give this cat some cream before it's too late.

And their smug American equivalents can wipe the smile off their faces: Channel 4 sold the format almost instantly, and isn't it funny how well Gwen Steffani's been doing ever since that? I'm saying nothing, but...


Cav said...

Interestingly enough I had hear from a friend who worked on a ladies magazine and was responsible for the photo-shoots that Ms Deeley was a very hairy woman...

Your post explains a lot.

kyknoord said...

So many things jump into sharp focus, now.

Jaclyn said...


you're quite the loquacious guest blogger, aren't ya?