Journey through space to the Planet Fabulous, where the Ruler of the Universe will see you shortly.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Fun With The Queen Part I

We do love our monarch here at Glitter for Brains. Anyone who has their own currency touched up to look a bit younger than they are is all right in our glittery books. And her email is probably 'liz@uk' too.

Here's something you Johnny Foreigners probably don't know: whenever she or her jug-eared brethren want to use a product, the manufacturers can use a little crest on the package that says 'By Royal Appointment'. It's like a pop-star endorsing something - and probably means that she gets a bucket-load of them free.

Which may be open to abuse. Can you imagine?

"Ere, Phil," she'll cry in her cockney accent down a palace corridor. "Phil! I want one of those new plasma screens!"

"You can't afford it, Liz," he'll shout back from the next room along. " You've just ordered another batch of oddly similar dresses, the ones with the high bust and half-sleeves!"

"Oh get 'em to slap a By Royal Appointment on it," she replies, lighting a fag. "And make sure it gets here before Countdown's on. And they've haven't skimped and left the batteries out of the remote too!"

Oh yes, By Royal Appointment can be found on lots of things now, which means you can more or less see what HRH Liz been shopping for. And we do like a bit of a nosey around other people's shopping baskets, don't we?

Thing is, she's getting on a bit these days. Not long before Veet upper-lip hair removal and incontinent pants are By Royal Appointment!


CyberPete said...

I don't know what it says about us Danes but our Queen has 'by royal appointment' on carlsberg beer..

Lee said...

Ours is on sherry.


CyberPete said...

Sherry is a lot more classy than beer though, unless it's cooking sherry

tornwordo said...

Jug-eared brethen. So funny. Plus the upper-lip hair removal. Blasphemous!

klee said...

A favoured passtime in our house is to speculate on the sex lives of the Royal family - with impressions.

So far, favourite is "For fuck's sake Pheeeleeeeep, give it here. Look at it. This is me, the Queen, frigging myself off."