Journey through space to the Planet Fabulous, where the Ruler of the Universe will see you shortly.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Pussycat Dolls

Fabulous news via the gossipy ananova: Girls Aloud, this site's mascot band, are launching their own brand of dolls.

How bloody brilliant? And these toys are apparently aimed at six to seven-year-old girls. And as we all know, absolutely anything aimed at six to seven-year-old girls also means that Gentlemen Who Wanted to be Princesses When They Were Little will crossing their fingers come Christmas morning, hoping that their respective partners have braved the toyshops to get them their very own Cheryl Tweedy (with 'real punching action!')

It's a measure of love, you know.

No news as yet as to whether the sets will be expanded to include a white limo, single mother pram, or club toilet play set.

This news, of course, puts paid to us playing with our new Billie Piper Doctor Who doll that we were looking forward to getting. Poor Rose Tyler will be tossed to the back of the room with nary a second thought as we try and back-comb that awful fringe off Nadine.

Hang on. Waaaaait a second. How about if we start playing with them together?

I see a whole raft of adventures coming up! Oh, oh! Perhaps one of Girls Aloud turns out to be an alien! Rose Tyler could join the band in the hope of discovering which member has the tell-tale signs of being unable to dance, piercing their victims with their lifeless glassy stare.

Whoever could it be?!

Who Could It Be..?
 

18 comments:

c'lam said...

where can i get one?

i know someone who'll be thrilled with a mini cheryl

Logan said...

Now'd be the perfect opportunity to finally get around to teaching those six- and seven-year olds about STDs.

"Mommy, my doll's cooch is drippy!"

Lee said...

You're foul, Logan.

I like it.

Broadband Ian said...

Damn you Binding. I go four months avoiding hearing the plot of The Christmas Invasion and you go and leak it (like one of Logan's dolls) in a mere Blog.

Damn you, damn you all to hell!

savante said...

GOD, we have the same taste in men! Love your glittering celebrities.

Paul

Logan said...

Mhm.
Sticky snatch or otherwise, I still kind of want one.

Rob said...

Putting the snatch aside for a moment - which I'm very keen to do considering how close Nicola's dress is to revealing the camel-toe - I really wouldn't be surprised if her place of birth were revealed to be Roswell.

Pashmina said...

I take it you've seen their current video? Five dress-up Barbies for the price of one! I am transfixed by it.

Brian W said...

We don't have Girls Aloud in America and I'm pretty sure that's the source of all our damned troubles.

I saw the Biology video today and it made me weep with joy. The shoes alone!

DailyLinks said...

Romantic Greeting Card

surly girl said...

the best thing about girls aloud is their unashamed roughness. brawling in toilets aside, you know a night out with any or all of them would involve blue drinks, aftershock, weeing in the street, someone crying as someone else had shagged her boyfriend and a fight. and a kebab on the way home.

actually, where do i sign up for that?

kyknoord said...

Hmmm... which one? Which one? You couldn't see your way clear to dropping a subtle hint?

klee said...

I want a Nicola doll so I can dress it up in a little pair of denim hotpants and write 'I AM A RUDE GINGER BITCH BOTHERD' in Tippex on the arse.

Nicola's great. When Girls Aloud break up she and Cheryl should form their own wrestling tag team and conquer the world.

Kellycat said...

Do you think Cheryl seriously believes that the "You-know-I'm-rough-as-hell-but-if-I-pout-a-lot-while-wearing-a-short-skirt-you'll-think-I'm-a-sexy-minx" look is working?

I bet a least two of them have made Louis Walsh cry.

St. Dickeybird said...

I don't know Girls Aloud either, but I'd also recommend Mandonna.com for musical niceties.

Lee said...

Boo! This is a Madonna Free Zone!

Bar 'Hung Up' naturally. We are Gay and Fickle after all...

St. Dickeybird said...

Lee, they AIN'T Madonna!
;)

Broadband Ian said...

A single called Biology.

An album (allegedly, according to today's telly) called Chemistry.

If the eventual "inside Girls Aloud" DVD is called Gynaecology, I'm officially resigning from the human race.