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Wednesday, January 18, 2006

The Easiest Job In The World

Next time you're at the checkout, I point your attention away from the assistant scratching her armpit with a Wispa Bar, along the stack of Atkins chocolates, and onto the magazine rack. No, ignore the shiny gloss of Bella and turn your attention to the Men's Health Magazine. That's right, the rag for Self-Hating Gentlemen Who Are Good Listeners, and Their Semi-Heterosexual Brethren.

Well, bugger me. It's a black and white cover of a man showing us his six pack.

Now, see. My day job as a designer is hilariously easy. Most the time I forget I have one and spend the time at home enjoying Tyra Banks marathons on Living TV, ringing up Dame Shirley Bassey and swapping racy stories about the time we were in the Wrens. But I take my hat off to whoever is designing this magazine as they have got the money/old rope ratio spot on.

Does anyone buy it? I wish to know if the content is as identical as the cover each month. And whether there are photos of some guy wandering in, handing over a disc and go "There you are - there's your next four year's worth of covers. Mail the cheque to my Barbados account."

Although. There was a slight tint of colour on one the other day. I thought the world was coming to an end.


VOTING UPDATE!

It's neck and neck between Glitter for Brains and the two gay dads! Click here to do it again. Even if you already have, some people can vote again!

17 comments:

epicurist said...

Not surprisingly, those magazines don't offer much new advice in each new addition. Every issue claims to have the "Best 10 workouts for bulging arms" or "The top 10 foods to eat"...bullocks and more bullocks.

Fuckkit said...

I'm not sure Lee was referring to the actual words... ;)

Snooze said...

I voted. You're ahead by a percentage point now.

btw - I do like the odd issue of Men's Health. It's more fun than Cosmo. However, they could show some nice glutes on the cover once in a while.

The Wisdom of Wislon said...

You could've showed us that 6 pack cover to tantalise over ;-)

CyberPete said...

Doing quite well there Binding, you are ahead in the polls. Hope you win mate

morgalou said...

I tried, I tried, but I think they're on to me. Am packing my bag & intend to move to Belgium before the "You appear to have voted already" police get here. I'll be the one wearing a beret & dark glasses.

The Lady Muck said...

Mmmmmmmmmens health. Old rope it may be but my god it's pure gold threading. MMmmm mens health.

Spinsterella said...

For 2 years I lived in a house where a new 'Men's Health' arrived on our doormat every month. Not for any of the inhabitants though.

It is clearly only 'bought' by idiotic fuckwits too stupid/lazy/fat to get off their arse and cancel their subscription.

Eden said...

Voted again. You're up by 9 votes.

Jaclyn said...

"That's right, the rag for Self-Hating Gentlemen Who Are Good Listeners, and Their Semi-Heterosexual Brethren."

I almost died laughing...

Then tried to figure out which category my hot stuff neighbor subscriber belongs in....

Gareth said...

I find it is a good alternative if I can't be bothered to go an see the wank mags in Prowler.

AndyT13 said...

Adam Baldwin? Adam bloody BALDWIN?!?! I mean really!
Matthew Fox, sure, Chris Evans definitely, but Adam Baldwin?
Yechhh. Check please!
Good luck on the 'best of'

Rob said...

I've now officially run out of IP addresses. I can't vote any more!

I have your remake of a Men's Health cover on PSD file somewhere.

You know... the one featuring buggery.

LJC said...

followed the breadcrumb trail from tea-lady.co.uk (from the credits on the back of the Villians & Monsters book). Now I know who to blame for all the hexagons! Gorgeous work (says the freelance [and still mostly amateur when it coems to digital design] webgirl). Looking forwrd to your Whovian goodies on the site to be updated.

Spike said...

It appears the Voting Police don't have a station Down Here. Sucked in, coppers!

*cough*

Kellycat said...

Yes, I have a boyfriend who is too lazy to cancel his subscription.

Men's Health is brilliant though. We await each copy with anticipation, especially the very scary sex tips. Apparently these advise on what will drive your woman wild. I've told Duck if he ever tries any of them on me, I'll be bloody livid.

Qenny said...

Mens' Health is great. You only ever have to buy it once. Then you just pull the pages out and rearrange them on a monthly basis. I'm sure the same is also true of bridal magazines (Before too long there's bound to be one of those for Discerning Gentlemen, and another for Ladies Who Are Good At Pool).

Best of luck with the BoB Awards, Lee.