Journey through space to the Planet Fabulous, where the Ruler of the Universe will see you shortly.

Monday, January 09, 2006

No Spitting

Well, look here! Someone's brought back Mystery Biscuits from the airport lounge of some hideous self-catering destination, as per the tradition in offices across the land. This week our taste-buds are delighted by something called 'Romany Creams', which the very name takes me back to a fairground of my youth where I met a gentleman of Romania who was more than happy to illustrate you don't have to be of a certain height to ride. And all the subsequent joys of a Big Dipper, of course.

Compounded by the other reason why I bring him up is that he used to spit like a navvy, and not just in the bedroom. And this came to mind this very weekend as there are hilarious calls for spitting to be banned in the UK by the Keep Britain Tidy campaign.

Keep Britain Tidy? Yeah, right. I can smell the mimsy hands of the Gay Council all over this, using some arcane government department as a cover. It's surely the first wave of new directives that are slowly coming in to make the UK a little more pink, like the banning ugly boys in the pants in soap operas, of which we've had a sudden glut over here. And while I believe that to be mandatory, should there really be calls for a obligatory EU chintz requirement in all homes?

Run free, say I. Don't let them get you! Buy one of our t-shirts, stating 'If You Loved Me, You'd Spit'. You know it makes sense.

(What are Romany Creams, anyway? I take them to be Gypsy Creams with delusions of free spirit and less goats, and possibly a better caravan?)


The Lady Muck said...

On a kind of related note: I saw someone spit into the wind today... always hilarious.
Hmm... romany creams. So many innuendoes, so little time!
Kisses, Senorita Muck

Imogen said...

Ooh! You've linked me!
But moving on- Long Live the Gay Council!
I think I could live with the chintz if the ugly soap stars were abolished- although that said, I'm a Neighbours fan, and the pretty people are practically all it has going for it.

Inexplicable DeVice said...

Weren't Romany Creams once featured in a Victoria Wood sketch? Possibly Acorn Antiques?

Fuckkit said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Fuckkit said...

Gyspy Creams: Could be the title of a lesbian porn film?

coolbuddha said...

Irish hankies should be next. What's a spit without a mouthful of tobacky anyway.

Reluctant Nomad said...

Romany Creams are delicious South African biscuits....very firm crunchy biscuits so not to be confused with limp ones.

How dare you refer to South Africa as a 'hideous self-catering destination'! :-)

Lee said...

Oh I lump anywhere that's not Monaco such, Mr Nomad!

RickB said...

i don't think of our nomadic cousins eating "biscuits" - they just have roadkill

Bob said...

I'm ordering my "Keep London Clean: Don't Spit ... Swallow" vests just in time for spring.