Journey through space to the Planet Fabulous, where the Ruler of the Universe will see you shortly.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Aw!


There. Now I've got you all onside, I can begin...

Wales.

Land of... My memories mostly involve an aquaduct, cold, a peacock, a terrifying game of truth or dare, and the far-too-late-in-coming realisation that Doctor Who conventions are truly dull. Of course, it's best not to realise this when you're stuck at one in Swansea. I mean, what are you going to do instead!?

Look at me, here two minutes and I've already alienated literally ones of Lee's readers.

When Lee asked me if I wanted this gig while he was away, I could swear he said he was going to spend a fortnight in Wales. None of this "off on holiday" business. In fact, I've just checked my emails. He definitely said Wales. Now, that can't be a holiday.

Well, whatever, I'm sure he'll return in two weeks, replete with straw donkey, a bottle of ouzo and seventeen shades of lovebite.

Off he's gone, and you're left with me and the kitten. Not that this is my kitten, but a bit of creative internettery borrowing never killed anyone. I'm sure you'll be coming face to face with my hairy, ginger pussy before my time here is up. But it's not all cheap filth here while Lee's away, oh no.

Warm up your pens and papers for Friday, let me warn you now. We'll be engaging in a group activity. Oh, yes. I didn't give up on a teacher training degree for nothing! (You may even wish to use coloured pencils.) And, next week, we'll be conducting some experiments that will conclusively settle the eternal cats-v-dogs argument. You will need: a cat, a dog, a camera and a wide-angle lens.

Oh, hang on. There we have it, then. I've just had textual intercourse with Lee, and it is confimed: Wales it is. So, stalkery guy on the comments board (What is that? Like, the 15th stalker Lee's had?), off you go! And if you want to try stalking me, don't bother - I'M ALREADY BEHIND YOU!

Oh, I slay me. I really do.

17 comments:

David said...

Hmm. Maybe I'll get the font working properly by tomorrow.

David said...

Ha! There we go. I have crushed the internet under my heel!

Tickersoid said...

This stuff is really funny.

"Lee, Take as long as you like, there's no rush."

There, now your free to perform a bloodless coup on his blog.

Mind, where I come from in Scotland, A bloodless coo is a bovine vampire.

Either Lee has realised his latest stalker is utterly adorable, or more likely he's come to abduct the fabulous Karaoke Karen.

Snooze said...

Can I use coloured markers instead of coloured pencils? 'cause they are scented and I love that.

I await the rules of the game.

Ban said...

Myah, kitty! Huggies! :3

Inexplicable DeVice said...

I can see why Lee entrusted you with the sacred duties.

>I've already alienated literally ones of Lee's readers.< Fabulous!

Looking forward to Friday, but only in a voyeuristic way as I've neither cat, dog nor camera...

David said...

Friday's not cats-v-dogs day, don't worry.

Friday is pens-and-papers day. And yes, markers are allowed, Snooze. I think the more... influenced you are by ink fumes, the better!

Nan said...

I pulled out my English to American dictionary and can't find "fortnight" anywhere...

what the hell is a fortnight? And I thought it was illegal to go to Wales... that's what I was told when I visited Manchester anyway...

David said...

Well, they would say that in Manchester. But then, I would say that, as I'm from Liverpool.

I'm amazed that 'fortnight' isn't in use in the US! It simply means 'two weeks'.

morgalou said...

Pens & paper! Ooooh! Organised group activities....!!!

(Sorry. Got overwhelmed by my own enthusiasm there. I'm OK now - I've sat down.)

Just don't mention crayons....

Spaceminx said...

Can we have poster paints too Uncle David? The ones in those squeezy bottles. Oh and some PVA glue so we can paint it all over ourselves & peel it off when it dries?

Gareth said...

Wales on Holiday, in February. Now being Welsh I'm bound to defend the place but
I wouldn't go there on Holiday in February, unle it was Aberystwyth.

In fact I don't even go to my parent in February, wet and miserable it is.


Of course id the Western Mail offices burn down, it may have been an attempt to get revenge on Lowri Turner.

Liz said...

Yay! Organised group activities with stationery! I am overwhelmed - a raid on the stationery cupboard is in order...now, if only I can wrestle away those lovely coloured crayons the Chief Exec has stashed away to scribble his reports with...

PS: Dogs beat cats hands down.

Spinsterella said...

Fucking Fluffy Animals.

I nearly ran away.

(they frighten me)

Spike said...

Spaceminx said: and some PVA glue so we can paint it all over ourselves & peel it off when it dries?

Lets! I got an A for that in grade 3.

Nan said...

Nope - no fortnight here - actually we never go anywhere for two weeks - well, I did once and I was actually dying to go back to work after 10 days.

Chig said...

I'm allergic to cats. Can I just watch that one from a distance? Poised and ready for tomorrow's interactiveness though...