Journey through space to the Planet Fabulous, where the Ruler of the Universe will see you shortly.

Friday, March 24, 2006

Things To Make And Do Again!

It's Friday! And lo! An entire weekend looms before you! However shall you fill the time between Top of the Pops tonight and Songs of Praise on Sunday evening? Why not let Glitter for Brains help you!

Get Yourself Invited to a Premiere!
These things are the best fun! If you haven't been to one - perhaps you're one of the poor class, or from the North or something - they can be a riot! A chance to rub shoulders with reality TV stars for ten minutes? Yes please! Count me in.
All you have to do is linger long enough in somewhere like Leicester Square in London's Trendy London and one will happen. Now, you can either stand still and they'll build the fencing around you, or just camp out in the Empire's toilets when you hear Tom Cruise is coming to town.
Oh that wacky dwarf! He's always so fun-loving at those premieres. All together now, "Oompa-Loompa-rhyming-with-'gay'..."

Text an Ex By Accident!
We're sure you still have their number squirreled away somewhere. Their business card tucked into the book they gave you on your first anniversary, which happens now to be in that occult circle you created to drain them of their very existence and happiness. We know we have!
Well get it out and drop them a line! It's time to be outrageously flirty with someone you barely remember for anything but hogging the duvet. And who knows where it will lead? Ex Sex is back in fashion!
Or, if your heart was rent from your chest by them running off with your best friend, don't shilly-shally with your words. Send one that's addressed to someone else, but just saying how darn fabulous your life is at the moment. Hey, it's shallow, but then so are we. And it may have been why they dumped us in the first place, but hey - who managed to get the crockery in the split? Hmm?

Make Up A Religion!
Oh, they're all at it these days. And do remember that nigh-on the whole East side of the globe hates Gentlemen Who Are Good Listeners, so isn't it about time we redressed the balance? We all worship clapped out divas anyway - why not make it official? Soon the Church of Cher can march on the bearded infidels of Basra, and convert them to our ways of Wigs Are Good and Skiing Accidents Are Bad.

Cook a Mystery Meal!
Here's fun for you. Tired of the same old meals? Why not go and buy several cans of food from your local supermarket - anything that takes your fancy! - and remove the labels when you get home. Now, open them, and try and make a nice meal for two! Oh the fun of trying to do something with meatballs and chicken in white-wine sauce!
And why not spice it up by putting a can of dog food in your basket at the same time. I tell you, my bolognaise hasn't looked back since!
And my coat is somewhat glossier, too.

E-Bay the Contents of your Attic!
Including the boiler and the lagging!

We hope that you find that interesting and marvellous! Now, get to it - the sun's almost shining!


Anonymous said...

Starting my day with this post was as glee-making as waking up with a ten-inch dick bestride me. Thankie!

coolbuddha said...

So, your working again this weekend then.

Speaking of Premieres (which is not an easy word to spell), I was one of the few who attended the premiere of Titanic when it opened in 'tourist hell', sorry, Leicester Square. Oh, HOW we laughed and sneered at the time...

First Nations said...

*ties on her babushka, grabs her shoppingbasket and heads off to the store with a stanley knife*

tornwordo said...

The dog food. I think I gagged a little bit. Have a swell weekend!

GayProf said...

Text an Ex By Accident!

Yeah, this would greatly interfere with my other plans for the weekend: Building a bonfire of all the gifts he gave me in the garden and dancing around it naked until they lose all of their magic powers.

Thanks for the ideas, though.

AndyT13 said...

Lovely ideas, really, but alas I'm going yachting. Cheerio!

Anonymous said...

Does lying around and watching shipwrecked count as something? I hope so cuz that's all I intend to do ;-)

CyberPete said...

I love your suggestions but I plan on dancing around to the divine miss K 'On a night like this tour' in my diamante stilettos all weekend.

Have a fabulouth weekend Lee!

Jon said...

Ooh, I would love to go to a Premiere but as I live in the North, it's probably not going to happen! :-(

I shall just go and take my Whippet for a walk instead!...

*dons Flatcap*

Snooze said...

I'm too lazy to make up my own religion, but I'll be a willing disciple of anything you create.

Inexplicable DeVice said...

"Yeay, though I walk through the valley of polyester wigs, let thy vocoder voice shimmy up my spine".

Or somesuch...

The Church of Cher is real isn't it? isn't it?!

Where the Hell have I been going then?

Just Call Me Fabulous said...

Thanks Lee, without your generous suggestions I may have spent my weekend getting drunk and having sex or something equally typical. I particularly loved "text and ex by accident". Now that's an activity that can really add some excitement to my life!

mainja said...

good ideas, but i'm going to see if andy would like some company on his yacht...