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Wednesday, April 12, 2006

A Warm Hand On My Entrance

Now I think it's fair to say I'm not exactly sexually repressed. Which comes as an indirect fact that, over time, I've had more pricks than a second-hand dartboard.

I've done things hygienic and not (and paid the price), been the latter day Cynthia Payne in my local town, tried all sorts of things with all sorts of gentleman callers. And in a former life, I'm sure I was a 'Covent Garden Nun' who used to service passing policemen for a ha'penny a trick.

So can you tell me why I get unutterably freaked by sitting down on a loo seat and finding it's still warm?

(shudder)

16 comments:

Qenny said...

For the same reason that swapping saliva with the partner or partners of your choice is fine, but having someone unexpectedly gob in your mouth is usually not.

I used to live in Aberdeen. A warm toilet seat (during winter) is a blessing!

CyberPete said...

Because that's just over the line. ICK!

Gaymosexual said...

Well it wouldn't be so bad if it was warmed by a fit young stud specifically employed for the task, but one can't help wondering if it was some large, sweaty builder heating the seat with the force of his emissions...

Qenny said...

Oh, clint, you got me all going with the mention of a large, sweaty builder; but then it went again when the emissions came into it. (Or out of him, I should say.)

Dantallion said...

Because the aforementioned warmth could very well have been generated by, say, David Cameron. And imagining close contact with THAT prick would give any self respecting Gentleman Who Like Pastels the willies.

The Lady Muck said...

I hate that. That's the one reason I am grateful that my bathroom feels like a walk in freezer.
The thought of hot poo is enough to make anyone queasy. *shudders*

Tickersoid said...

I like a prewarmed seat. I don't care if it was warmed up by a hairy, sweaty, syphilitic, sumo wrestler.......OK just me then.

Miss Cellania said...

Maybe because its anonymous. Maybe because its unexpected. Its like that time i ordered a cup of coffee, then thought that they put sugar in it by mistake. What it WAS, was LIPSTICK! I wasn't wearing lipstick! Eeeww!

Never went to that coffee house again.

Spike said...

What Quenny said, except about Aberdeen and the builder.

Perry Neeham said...

Better warm than wet.

tornwordo said...

Ewww. I hate that too. Strange the paradoxes within us. Just like the universe.

Gaymosexual said...

Well Quenny, just get some bury builders round to work on your extension, they do anything for a cup of tea and a digestive.

EarthMother said...

I'm with you. Anything goes when it comes to sex. With toilets, I'm pretty picky.

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