Tuesday, May 09, 2006
'Please Go To Checkout Number 2'
So, do tell me. You're waiting in queue to pay for your delicious series of ready-meals in a well-known local supermarket when you're called down to your checkout operator. What exactly is the correct etiquette when, upon getting down there, do you discover there is a drag queen on the till? Not an extravagant, hair everywhere, teeth and claws diva, but a drag queen nonetheless?
* Avert your eyes
* Avert your eyes and prey you didn't put a copy of well-known listings magazine 'TV Quick' in your basket in case of any misunderstandings.
* Watch her adam's apple bob up and down under the diamante choker as she asks you whether you want cashback.
* Yelp "Teri Hatcher! I loved you in Lois and Clark!"
* Grasp her manly hands and state that she's doing wonders for our cause, with a liberal spraying of glitter and eyelashes so long she has to tip her head back to open her eyes.
* Yelp "Teri Hatcher! I loved you in Desperate Housewives!"
* Wonder if it's actually a health hazard to have that much hairspray so close to fresh fruit.
Yelp "Teri Hatcher! Weren't you in Return to Oz? I do recall this evil scarecrow that was a bundle of twigs with a slightly immobile orange head in it."
Personally? I did the first one.
Then the last one. Grin.