Journey through space to the Planet Fabulous, where the Ruler of the Universe will see you shortly.

Saturday, July 22, 2006

The Catholic Church vs The People

Settle an argument for me, will you? When I was younger and more supple I used to listen to Catipal Radio. Nowadays I get forced by work colleagues to listen to Jeremy bloody Vine and Steve bloody Wright on Radio Two... mainly, I think, because no one wants to have to listen to the same six adverts every half an hour all day long. Catipal, being an independent radio station, carried advertising. One advert was for a newspaper called the Daily Sport, and it had a catchy jingle, which were I able I'd sing for you. It went something like this: "The Sport gets Britain up in the morning!" to a generic radio-jingle tune. Talking to my flatmate Tom, I said that you had to admire how they slipped a knob gag through, even if was only local radio. The Sport you see, is full of smut, and famous for it's "stunnas". Tom reckons it just my dirty, *dirty* mind. What do *you* think?

(Even if you agree with me, and I feel you ought to - it's only polite... it's not my favourite tits-and-tabloids-related joke. That honour goes to The Sun for their "News in Briefs". They get some 19-year-old topless model to stand around in her pants and comment on the bombing in Iraq.)

We were only talking about all this because Charlotte Church (making an improbable second entry in my blogging stint) had called the Pope a Nazi. And with good reason. Pope Benny, as I'm sure you know, was in the Hitler Youth. It's all very well for him to say "I vas forced into it" or "it vas just vat you did in zose days" (apologies to any Germans, that was shameful), but I reckon that when he was asked to sign up he should have said, "Get stuffed, Goebbells, one day I'm gonna be the fucking Pope".

Tom, however, hates Lotty Church and being the son of a vicar (albeit one of the more cuddly Anglican variety) probably feels he should defend the religious realm. "You can't criticise Gary Bushells," I said, "for being a homophobic wanker. And then says it's OK for the Pope. More people probably listen to the Pope for a start."

"People who read the People listen to Gary Bushell," said Tom.

Which led to a discussion about whether, asked to list ten tabloid newspapers, I'd even think of The People. And that's when we got talking about the Sport, and whether or not they had promised to give us wood. In the morning.

It's academic, as I'm writing this in the evening. Even more so than usual The Sport is of no use to me, and I'm just going to have to find my fun somewhere else...


Lee is bungy-jumping off the southern coast of Italy.


DanProject76 said...

That was the first contribution that Charlotte Church has made to the world of sensible behaviour.

Qenny said...

It's not your dirty, dirty mind. The Sport wanted to get you UP in the morning. Although unless they started putting stills from Triga films on their pages, I don't think they'd get anywhere with me.

And, yes, the pope's a nazi. Someone who went to seminary told me once that he was on his way over to Italy to go down on the then Cardinal Ratzinger, because he'd been shagging a seminarian there who was the cardinal's nephew, and was looking at having a very quick ascension through the ranks because he was happy to oblige his uncle.