Journey through space to the Planet Fabulous, where the Ruler of the Universe will see you shortly.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

On The Fourth Day

I'm sure you all know that doing things backwards comes with the genes, the fabulous hair, and the love of Dame Kylie. So a few days in to my new job, I take a few days off to pop back to the old one to sort everything out.

Well, when I say sort, basically 'remove all those pictographs of barely-dressed ruffians and down-on-their-luck urchins posing for a bag of oranges and a shiny tuppence that were cluttering up the server for five years'. I think I gave them back a gig-and-a-half with one swift move, you know.

But yes, five years. I've seen some changes there. People coming and going, the invention of the internet, decimilsation. The Vietnam War, and the resurgence of the puffball skirt - all sorts of atrocities. I wasn't looking forward the end as it meant that it was horribly real, that I would finally be freelance proper and that meant no pension, no healthcare, no sick pay. But on the upside, I now get to work in my underwear and scare the milkman and if that isn't worth a BUPA membership, I don't know what is.

I wasn't looking forward to saying goodbye to everyone there. Half a decade, you become part of the furniture. You barely wonder if anyone's going to notice you're gone - you're like the lame old dog that everyone takes for granted, though I haven't pissed in the potplant in a few years. It's always difficult knowing where the line of professional 'friendships' and mates are drawn, and I tend to keep everyone at arms length anyway so I didn't cherish the idea of goodbye drinks in my 'honour'. Well, come on - they're more or less a chart of how popular you are in the company, and as we all know I'm a cumudgeonly old fucker and was expecting three people and a pizza to turn up.

Almost the whole company did. Rebecca from Licensing had got me a whole box of Doctor Who toys, including a radio-controlled Dalek (almost died with happiness). Richard, the MD, came down and presented me with a lovely bag from Diesel ('not my taste, mind. I just tried to think "gay"...') and in the meeting previous Jon, one of the directors, gave a lovely speech that frankly I wouldn't have minded being my eulogy. Cards, wine - oh, lots of wine! - and a standing ovation as I left the pub at the end of the day.

Goodbye, fair company. I will miss you. You made a cumudgeonly old fucker very very happy.

15 comments:

mainja said...

it's amazing what an ego boost leaving can be sometimes.

mr null said...

I'd have just done the drinks *IN* the office.

First Nations said...

your tractor beam of fabulousness drew them in to your fabulous orbit. resistance is futile!

CyberPete said...

That's lovely. A girl from our office left last month and she was terrified that nobody would go the party and have a drink. At the end of the day 70 people came, we are 120 at the office but that's pretty good still.

For me, I would much prefer just sneaking out the backdoor. I love the attention but I hate the attention...

AndyT13 said...

Dear boy these posts abou tthe new and old office are fascinating, really, but what in the fuck happened with the wife? Everything seemed to be going so swimmingly! I'm crushed. You were such a cute couple!

Snooze said...

I'm glad you got a proper send off.

Spinsterella said...

Aw, people being nice to you.

Just what you need after recent developments.

I'm getting all misty-eyed..

Jane said...

Oooh that does sound rather lovely. Always nice to know that you are thought fondly of.

Qenny said...

Fabulous! It's lovely to get a good send off. And we all know just from reading your blog that their office life, without your good self to brighten it up, is going to be drab, drab, drab.

Inexplicable DeVice said...

Crikey! Don't visit for a few days and look what happens. I'm going to reserve judgement and comment about the whole Split From Wife Thing until the Fifteenth Day arrives. After all, I don't want to get it all wrong by saying "He's a bastard! You can do better." or "I'm so sorry. Maybe it's only temporary?"

Anyway, bravo for the fab send off. Bruce Forsythe springs to mind: Didn't he do well!

Lippy said...

Well, this post confirms it, although Dickie is stunning to look at, witty and a beautiful writer...........it's good to have you back!

Spike said...

Effing Blogger ate my comment.

I said something stunningly witty that Made Everything Alright. Really.

Bummer about The Split. Have some lager icecream.

AndyT13 said...

Gah! I'm dying over here! I miss your regular posts. I'm all adrift!
Come back I say!

Spaceminx said...

Split??? You and Jeff? Oh darling... :(

*Hands Lee a bottle of Harvey's Bristol Cream sherry*

Just Call Me Fabulous said...

I'm quite desperate to hear about the fifteenth day.