Journey through space to the Planet Fabulous, where the Ruler of the Universe will see you shortly.

Monday, July 10, 2006

Please Don't Leave Me

Can you hear the sound of the door swinging in the wind? That's Lee, bolting out of the door, on his way to a Whole New Life, leaving a trail of glitter in his wake. Don't worry - he'll be back. But I suspect he'll be a changed man... oh, who am I kidding... he'll still be churning out the same old camp nonsense. Perhaps there'll be a slight tweak in the wigs to smut ratio, but only the most ardent followers will notice.

The poor love is a little snowed under (actually, I'm not sure you can have degrees of being snowed under - either you are or you aren't, I reckon) and, in the meantime I'm filling the gap. Let me heave my bosom to underscore that innuendo. I'm not as practised in these matters as Lee... but I'm hoping to hit my stroke by the end of the week.

Now, before you all start weeping into your lace hankies, wondering how you'll get by without Lee to tickle your fancy, let me say this: I Know All His Secrets. So, if you have any questions you've been dying to ask, just pop them into the comments box and I'll do my best to reveal all. Oh yes.

Meanwhile, let me introduce myself. I'm a designer, I'm Lee's ex and although I'm just as qualified to witter on about Dr Who as him, I have fan shame so I'll be trying to keep it to a minimum. Before I do, however... Catherine Tate. Bet you weren't expecting that. I'm slightly disapppointed that she's not doing it as Nan... it would add an extra relative dimension to the whole filming Christmas in July. There'd be David Tennant scratching his sweaty areas in his itchy nylon suit, and Nan could heave a heavy sigh. "Awww! Innit 'ot? I'm roastin'. I'm gonna 'ave to take this long multi-coloured scarf off I tell you."

OK, back soon. I'm off for a fuck off big pizza with a foxy young man. Ha. See soon. x


Lee is busy filing his nails.


andiandi said...

I knew a dicky once...he was an accountant, we met in a gay pub in Brisbane...despite this it is true what Tegan said about Brisbane.

mr null said...

wooo - er - very similar writing style though...

Lee said...

Don't you dare tell them anything, you git.

Imogen said...

No no no, tell us everything- it's the least we deserve for being abandoned!

CyberPete said...

I am with you imogen.

Go on, tell us EVERYTHING :)

Spike said...


Limehouse Dan said...

This could be interesting... Love your writing style, Dicky. And who knows, we might all find ourselves saying "Lee... WHO??" within a couple of weeks.

Just look how quickly everyone forgot about Eccleston.

Tickersoid said...

OK, where do we start?

How big is his cock?

Is he a good shag?

Does he swallow?

Has he ever been spit roasted?

Does he take it up the.....Oh wait, that question's for straight chicks.

Is he a danger to small rodents?

Sharon said...

Thanks for 'minding the gap' as it were... your a jolly good sport what ho etc etc.
So... next question... Can I stick up a link to you?!

Dicky said...

Link away. I'm not sure what that's all about, but feel free.

Yeah yeah yeah - choking hazard, sets the sheets alight, swallows till it dribbles out of his ears.

Who's Eccleston?

Qenny said...

Eccleston is a type of cake with lots of currants in it.
I think.