Journey through space to the Planet Fabulous, where the Ruler of the Universe will see you shortly.

Monday, May 14, 2007

More Than I Needed To Know

This time last year I did some work for Panini. Having got bored with just selling Spiderman comics and football stickers, the company had bought a magazine aimed at teenage girls. Not unreasonably I expected to be greeted by a predominantly female staff. I was wrong, I was stuck in the basement with a bunch of lads, who as the weeks moved on, quite reasonably I suppose, started to show great interest in the World Cup. I thought I had the measure of them until I was introduced to their tradition of playing Scooch's cover of The Littlest Hobo. Quite charming. To begin with.

Tom has just arrived home. Any hope I had that Eurovision was drifting into the realms of a bad memory have been dashed. He's bought the DVD and CD single of Flying the Flag (For You). He's played the video, the karaoke version, and the behind the scenes Learn The Dance Routine track. Incidentally, the big gay choreographer who teaches you to be a plane, has massive sweat patches under his arms.

Tom has just been into his room to fetch the Scooch album. And he's singing along - "my heart went boom, and all of a sudden we were on the moon" - pausing every now and then to let me know what chart positions the various single achieved.

And at this point I don't need your sympathy, because I know that across Europe, everyone (excapt Malta and Ireland) has let it be known just what they think of Scooch's brand of sacharin pop nonsense. Apparently, we should be impressed that Scooch accepted their defeat with dignity. They're pleased they scored a 12 for Great Britain – even if they scored very little else – and they've got a top five single. Well, who gives a shit about the charts these days. Oh, right -Tom.

To be serious (not that I'm making this up you realise, it's all true) I think it's a shame that people use the argument that Eurovision is a bit of a joke, so it's only right that we should enter in that spirit. Sadly, in recent times the better British entries haven't been sung by British artists.

Scooch are British of course, right down to their salty nuts.


Qenny said...

I think Scooch lost because their entry was a shameless rip-off of a Pandora song. No, really.

Spain, Turkey and Russia did it for me. The song that won - yuck!

Inexplicable DeVice said...

I was so disappointed with Eurovision this year, because Scooch's song was easily the better of most of the drivel from Europe.

It would have been mortifying if they'd actually won - imagine the horror! - but they deserved more than 14 points or whatever it was they got.

Anyway, rant over until next year.

Gonzo said...

Scooch were entertaining and funny, with a trashpop song. Not unusual for Eurovision standards, but I think more than investing in a good tune, they should invest in goodlooking singers.See what i have to say in my blog :)

Spike said...

Watched Eurovision for 5 seconds. I was scared.