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Tuesday, October 30, 2007

New Facts! Good Facts!

While I was doing research for yesterday's entry, I learned three things.

(Oh yes, this thing may look like its been thrown together in the middle of the night by three illiterate marmosets on mogadon, but there's real effort go into this. Oh yes. Sometimes I'll open that oracle of truth, Wikipaedia, at the same time I'm scrolling though the-man-hole.com, which I read it for the gardening tips. Anyway.)

1) Neil Patrick Harris, best known as 'Doogie Howser, MD' is a Gentleman Who Colour Coordinates. Well I never. Although, I think in retrospect I'm not surprised; it's just because I never considered it. It's not like he lisped and raised an eyebrow every time he mentioned 'anal' on the show. It's also nice to see that he's following the Hollywood trend of going out with someone a little bit hotter than he is. Well done, dear. We approve.

2) The Bogaert and Hershberger 1999 study concluded Gentlemen Who Know Showtunes have, on an average, slightly longer and thicker penises than non-gay men. Well, fancy! We win again! And while it's rude to brag - Ryan Reynolds, I'd quite like to rub your face in it. Call me.

3) A 2003 study states Gentlemen Who Can't Catch are better at Object Location Memory. You know, the $10 way of saying we can remember where we put things. I believe this is a necessary evolution due to having sex in darkened places like a sauna or Hamstead Heath; you want to recall where that sweaty gorilla with the back hair and eczema like peeling paint is sitting before you accidentally wander over and get more than you bargained for. Like coming away looking like a flaky pastry pie exploded over your back.

5 comments:

tornwordo said...

Gross! But I can't stop laughing.

Owen Blacker said...

You didn't know about Neil Patrick Harris? Cor. He's surprisingly hot, too, having seen him shirtless is How I Met Your Mother (which you need to download, if you don't already follow it. It has Willow^W Alyson Hannigan in too, if that helps?)

And yes, my somewhat-less–scientific survey of male members concluded something rather similar to #2. Though I think Robin van Persie is still likely to beat me on that front…

savante said...

Well then,... yahoo for gay men :) Let's pop the champagne!

Angie said...

Darling how could you not know about NPH? And you're right, he does have a quite handsome boyfriend. :)

Qenny said...

#2 is one in the eye for all those sad queens who list after straight men. I think the results might be a bit skewed, though. Does anyone think that a straight researcher would have come up with a project that involved measuring lots of guys cocks?

And #3 brought back too many memories that I would rather have remained repressed. I wonder whether in that context, our object location memory is actually that we remember the location of things we object to.