Journey through space to the Planet Fabulous, where the Ruler of the Universe will see you shortly.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

The Law

I was only recently reminded that I'd shared a train carriage with Jude Law back in the day.

You know, if you'd asked me a few years ago, I'd have said I'd have wanted him to shag me so hard, whoever pulled him out of my ass would be crowned the real King of England. But I couldn't tell you why. I mean look at him. He looked shifty. Not unattractive, but not especially good either. When I saw him on the train I didn't return to my seat dripping like a fucked fridge if that'd what you're thinking. I do believe it was about the time of 'Wilde', of which I recall he looked alright - though frollocking around ontop of a bi polar walrus would make anyone of us look good. Though over the years I've idly watched him deteriorate. Thus:

Talented Mr Ripley: nice enough, but outshone by pudgy house-husband Matt Damon in the ass stakes.


Sleuth: balding, pop-eyed series of twigs bundled together in a bad suit who, once you realise you'd snort if he won second prize in a beauty contest in Monopoly, you also come to the conclusion that he's a shocking actor too.

I hope this handy diagram has been of help to you, dear viewer.


Lippy said...

Jude , no proof positive that as you age your personality becomes physically visible..see Jack Nicholson.

But also pleaded in support of my theory (based on minimum evidence from a making a few training DVD's) that little skinny people with no personality look great on film. Wheras, big attractive personalities are diminished and rendered incomprehensible by it. In short, the more I love my friends the less I recognise them on film.

Qenny said...

I thought he was great in AI. A characterless, plastic prettyboy that people inexplicably wanted to have sex with. He played that part really well - I have no idea where he draws his inspiration.