Journey through space to the Planet Fabulous, where the Ruler of the Universe will see you shortly.

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Things Wot I Learned In The Last Week

Never go for sushi with a bisexual man. You end up with the most horrific tales about women.

Evel Knievel died. We hope that his coffin is shot through a burning hoop over six double-decker buses before being laid to rest under 16-fire extinguisher salute.

The people at Gaydar read this blog, thanks to the last post I wrote. Hello to dear old Alex and the team, who seem lovely, don't write in capital letters, and now own my soul after I realised they could dig out any old pic of me from my 1996 profile, including the ones I considered 'arty' at the time. Shudders

After sitting behind celebrity couple Brian May and Anita Dobson at a play on Sunday, I can reveal that Anita is utterly lovely, and Brian May is very tall. So bad luck if you want to see anything through his iconic spiral perm. I just closed one eye to mess with my depth perception, thusly seeing the stage to have an avante-garde black Christmas tree in the middle and everything was fine.

Nicole Kidman and Daniel Craig hit the red carpet to promote 'The Golden Compass'. I advise you to check out any and all pictures of them; they still look like they're playing their zombie alien roles in The Invasion. Old Craig's never been the most zestful anyway, always looking to me like someone's animated the off-cuts from a leather tanning yard with black magic. Seriously, there's craggy and then there's Craig-y. If you ever had the misfortune of ejaculating over his face, it would just run around in a perfect scale model of Egyptian irrigation channels.

The coffee house opposite has started a 'Name the Teddy Bear' competition. With a trip to Sudan as the prize. Lovely.

5 comments:

Holy Cuteness said...

Hej nice blog you have!

Lady Muck said...

Ahhahahahaha.

I laughed so hard my gusset exploded.

Sorry, more sushi.

Qenny said...

I thought the bi-guys would have had more self control. So did it go something like this: "The butterflied prawn on top of this block of rice reminds me of the time I went down on ..." ?

Lady Muck said...

Charming. Penises are just soo much more attractive really.

Orchis said...

Taste and smell surely !?