Journey through space to the Planet Fabulous, where the Ruler of the Universe will see you shortly.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Never Getting Lost Again

Am sick. A weird throat thing has mutated into a cough every 15 minutes like I have TB; I hanker for a lace hankie and a chaise lounge on which to recline, dictating my last memoirs to my one true love I lost in a mining disaster at the turn of the century. My throat is so sore I sound like Bonnie Tyler. Blood is not far to follow, I fear.

Think I pushed myself too hard. I thought the mind would be the first to go, but lo, it turned out to be the body.

I tried watching 'The Lion In Winter' in between dozing. This is genuinely first time I've seen Katherine Hepburn move and speak. I know I'm the last one to the party but OH MY LORD ITS CAPTAIN JANEWAY. Everyone's always said how similar they are, but they are not similar. They are the same. It's uncanny.

I also tried to watch the opener for the fourth season of 'Lost'. Why do I do it to myself? Its like going back to an abusive ex. You know its going to be terrible... but you love him, Tricia! You really love 'im!

As it turned out I was completely right, and I can quantify the first two episodes as two hours of my life I ain't getting back. The 'cliffhanger' for Ep 2 was one of the guys going "... well, that as may be. But I had a man on their boat!" said in such mustache-twirling villainy I was expecting a pull-back to see he'd tied two cast members to the railroad tracks and was about to exit, stage-left, swishing his cloak. I'm going to give up now. It's the show of Mildly Interesting Surprises. Rather like opening a Bettaware catalogue and going "Oh look, they do those now..." before going off to make tea. I wouldn't be surprised if 'Lost' was still being made during the writer's strike. No one would be able to tell the difference.

6 comments:

Mamluke said...

just tell everyone you're suffering from "consumption" or "the king's evil" - you'll elicit more sympathy AND confusion

Jeff said...

I saw Kate Mulgrew play Katherine Hepburn in a one-woman show off-off-Broadway a few years back. They really are one person. I like to imagine Hepburn circa "On Golden Pond" doing Janeway line readings, and I don't half crack myself up.

William A. Gibson said...

I must implore you to watch Kate as Mrs. Venables in "Suddenly Last Summer". Her entrance is divine.

Razorblack said...

Get well soon, monsieur - the Moulin Rouge won't be the same without you!

xx

Qenny said...

Lost - probably the most aptly entitled TV show ever.

ATG said...

Hope you feel better, Love...