Journey through space to the Planet Fabulous, where the Ruler of the Universe will see you shortly.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Political Shake Up

This is fucking priceless. According to Israeli Shlomo Benizri, of the ultra-Orthodox Jewish Shas Party, legalizing marriage between Gentlemen Who Can't Catch have been causing earthquakes in the Holy Land.

Clearly his brain went 'San Francisco has gays. San Francisco has earthquakes. Therefore gays make earthquakes!' Er, no. Gays make their own hand cream and muffin baskets, not earthquakes. Really, we don't have half the powers you think we have; and if we did don't you think we'd get rid of some of those horrid little red States in the US? Everyone! Get on the pink bus, we're going to go rattle some china in the Bible Belt!

Ludicrous.

I mean, here we are in the UK where there are about the same number of Gentlemen Who Own Either One or Both Versions of 'Hairspray' as the city of Jerusalem, and I can't remember a single quake at one of those Pride events. I can however recall several knee-tremblers in the bushes, so I was keeping my end up, Mr Benizri. As it where.

Clearly I'm not convinced about this whole affair. Unless I can be shown empirical evidence that earthquakes have only started after the gays started taking each other's hand rather than bottom, I claim there is another reason for it.

Naw guys, its not the gays doing this. It's probably God still pissed you killed his son.

6 comments:

CyberPete said...

Now that's just mean

naming your kid Shlomo

*can't stop laughing*

But you are quite right of course

Erin & Liann said...

OMG... I love you. I've been lurking for a few posts and I always crack up.

I live in the bible belt currently.. I'm moving to NY in sept and I can't wait! LMAO... Erin would be so happy if gays had those kinds of super powers!! The only ones that I've personally witnessed though, are fabulous accessorizing and delicious cocktails! (among more of course)

-Lee

Stuart said...

You know what Lee, I think Benizri chap may actually be onto something.
Just think about it - Maybe a big old Gay Cruise sailing though the Indian Ocean back on Boxing Day 2004 was the real cause of that nasty Tsunami thing!

Lee said...

Just think of the lost seamen.

I know I do.

Qenny said...

Doesn't a non-existent gag factor count as a super power? It certainly seems that way to gentlemen benefiting from its absence, if they have never experienced such a thing before.

Perry Neeham said...

Of course trouser pilots cause earthquakes. well, the earth always moves for me.