Journey through space to the Planet Fabulous, where the Ruler of the Universe will see you shortly.

Monday, February 04, 2008

Ryan Reynolds, Method Actor

I'm sure regular viewers of this dastardly pink site will know I have a soft spot for the aforementioned Mr Reynolds, one that incidentally gets harder at the time he insists losing his top in a film. I shan't complain; its always tastefully done and never to the level and frequency of Matthew McConaughey, a man seemingly so dumb or so high he can't figure out shirt buttons. I'm even going to forgive Mr Reynolds for shacking up with Scarlett Johansson who, frankly, looks like a clownfish and whose engorged, voluminous man-trap of a foof is probably now due to be retreaded after the last 5000 miles.

Well, after such close scrutiny of Mr Reynolds' oeuvre, we're pleased to exclusively reveal how he gets into the two types of roles that he has. If you're doing Action Film, you get dark-haired Ryan who grows a beard for the role (cf Blade 3, Smokin' Aces). If you're producing Comedy Film, the beard is shaved off and the highlights go in (cf Just Friends, Waiting and latest 'rom-com' Definitely Maybe). The man's a genius! He could put De Nero to shame!

Next Week: We bring you an extract from the ultimate method actor's 'how to' manual. That's 'Vacuuming In High Heels', the third chapter from Jessica Simpson's magnum opus 'How I Act Good' exclusively here at Glitter for Brains.


Stuart said...

Whenever someone mentions his name, I always seem to get Ryan Reynolds mixed up with Chris Evans (the actor that is, not ginger cunt who married Billie Piper)... Dunno why, I guess its because both are fit, and both do similar type films.

Qenny said...

Oh, if only Ryan had the talent to get all actor-serious, whereupon he would obviously simply have to do a film about the gays, in which he plays one of them. Or with one of them. A shirtless Ryan Reynolds and bumsex - now that would be a tear-jerker. Possibly without the tears.

LJC said...

"Blade 3" was my first experience of "and starring Ryan Reynold's Abdomen") and I've never been able to look at "2 Guys and a Girl" the same way ever again.

Granted, I did pay actual cash money to see "Amityville Horror" in theatres just to see those david lines 25 ft tall.