Journey through space to the Planet Fabulous, where the Ruler of the Universe will see you shortly.

Thursday, June 05, 2008

Mustard Gas

The more I think about it, the more I think Britney Spears and my own career is inextricably linked. I mean, all of a sudden, she’s on the up - and I finally have been given something interesting to do in my day job. See? We’re like twins. Well, twins if I looked constantly pregnant and ate frosting out of the carton while my car stopped at red lights, that is. Perhaps I should just get the blonde wig and go all out and offer myself as a lookey-likey, or maybe a high-class prostitute. I wonder if there are many men who’s pay for a fumble with Mz Spears’ gaping accordion? Probably not, when the real one’s offering an all-you-can-eat buffet wherever she opens her legs getting out a car.

Anyway, this interesting new thing is some pitch or other for something to do with the army. All well and good. The problem is, you give the Department Gay some military pictures to play with, and it’s never going to go right. You’re just guaranteed to get something at the end that looks like a Eurocreme cover

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