Journey through space to the Planet Fabulous, where the Ruler of the Universe will see you shortly.

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Sitges, Part I


barrels in, covered in after-sun, sand and swinging a bucket and spade

I've been on holiday! All the way down to Sitges, that gay holiday destination du jour which, I have to say before you give me that look, was booked some time before my glamorous boyfriend Ryan was invented. Meaning there was a swift about-face for my expectations of what was going to happen on some sun-kissed away-day for the Gentlemen Who Aggressively Tan: in my experience, it's not a proper night out unless I'm being pressed a little too hard up against a Spanish-languaged fruit machine by some jerez-breathed navvy pawing at my backside with hands the size of shovels. Instead it was going to be me being the one to hold the handbags whilst my other three traveling companions go off and get into all sorts of trouble, leaving me and my usually-featherlight heels to swing uselessly on a barstool.

Equally, another two of our little... festive brigade were in a relationship together, leaving the fourth and final member, The Very Lady Vyse, to be our ambassador for the conquering of the Spanish. Before we got on the plane, there was a bet on his part that he wouldn't cop off with any of them to a princely sum of 20p. While I can neither confirm or deny whether this bet had been collected upon, we were then only attending bars which we classed as "one pound and over." Get us.

And yet, two days in and I hadn't strayed, you´ll be pleased to hear. The ones who have made an approach to my beardy visage have always been a bit too... keen, I think you´d call them. While sitting outside Parrots bar downing my foofy drink, I actually had someone eat an ice cream at me. It was most disconcerting...

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