Journey through space to the Planet Fabulous, where the Ruler of the Universe will see you shortly.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

FlorenceWatch: Day 2

Today, Cat and I have been exploring. She seems to have taken me to be Alpha Male of the three people in the house, much to everyone's hilarity. Well, really! I've never been an Alpha Male before! I was almost classed as an A-Gay on one occasion, but I seemingly didn't slap the officer who was frisking me for my Balans Members Card hard enough (flat of the palm, thinking you're Ivana, apparently) so my application was torn up in front of me. I'd spent ages on gluing on all those pictures of Daniel Radcliffe too.

Prior to her coming to visit, Cat and I had that usual human/feline relationship of complete indifference because I didn't arrive with a can opener. And yet now, as she sees me as the most viable connection to her previous life, she won't leave me alone. She follows me around like a twink at a club who's seen me paying for champagne with a platinum card. Yesterday, she wouldn't move from my lap, and I apologise to any clients who are reading this because she kept nudging my hand for attention just as I was cutting out hair in photoshop. Honestly, poor David Tennant's quoffured mop came out like a madwoman's breakfast - all over the place. Right now, she's currently lying half across my shoulder, draped like a stole, wheezing softly in sleep. It would be endearing if it weren't so damn inconvenient.

Anyway, exploring. Cat likes dark holes (just like her owner I'm shocked to find) and makes a bee-line straight for any place that she can't be rescued from without two warm spoons, some grease and a dangled chicken leg. She explored the hall, stairs, window with good view of builders, and the bedroom, mewing for me to keep up. She then spent a good hour pouncing around the duvet like she'd never seen one before. Perhaps she hasn't - I've poked my head around owner Gertie's bedroom door on few occasions, and lets just say the bed linen was more for functionality than for comfort, if you know what I mean. I didn't touch them, but one had the idea of those laminated gingham tablecloths that you get in Little Chefs. Perhaps this is the true reason Cat is following me around - not just because I'm feeding her, or petting her, but because I've introduced her to the concept of thread count.

Bless. There's hope yet.


Logan said...

Bless indeed! Pussy's not the hairy, sharp-toothed monster we've been led to believe!

Kathleen Bradean said...

The only thing cats enjoy more than good linens is something fresh from the dry cleaners - optimally in black so that it shows every hair they shed on it. In a pinch, anything you're reading or working on will suffice.

Mine likes to drop his toys in the toilet. While there's something satisfying about watching Barbie's head float in the bowl, finding it on my pillow later makes me wonder if it's love, or if he thinks he's in the mob.

Frank said...

You'll be a pussy-lover yet, Lee!

Perry Neeham said...

Ah, "follows me around like a twink at a club who's seen me paying for champagne with a platinum card", thank you, thank you. *Wiping away the tears*