Journey through space to the Planet Fabulous, where the Ruler of the Universe will see you shortly.

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Still Cold

Well, this snow's quite nice, but not what I was expecting, alas. When Ryan said I was going to get seven inches in the morning, I just made sure I was awake nice and early and brushed my teeth.

I'm at home. After the travel madness of yesterday I'm staying chez Glitter today, propped up on a warm bearskin and several Vicodin. I'll get the BBC to send a bike with my work for the day, and hope the rider a) doesn't slip in the ice, b) is hot, or c) a combination of a) and b) where he slips over on his hot ass by my door and has to be nursed sexily back to health over a matter of days. Oh it would just be like 'Misery' - only this time it would be a musical, and the 'hobbling' bit would be caused in an entirely different route than a sledgehammer, thank you very much.

Don't you just hate it when delivery drivers just weren't worth washing your parts out for? The last one I had stuffing anything up my slot had a face like he'd been using it as his brakepad. I felt like screaming "I've been standing here at the door jam in this wafty see-through housecoat for three hours hoping you'd catch me unawares, and look what they've sent! Bob Geldoff's elder brother!" But I didn't, because I'm a gentleman.


travelling, but not in love said...

Forget delivery boys, what you want is an italian postman. Trust me, il postino knows where to put his package ;-)

At least, he did on saturday night.....

The Mutant said...

If I could find just one delivery driver with a complete, matching set of teeth, hair and a waistline (preferably all his own) I'd be all over him like whore on a Hilton. Sadly I'm never so lucky.

CyberPete said...

I am starting to lose hope that there is such a thing as what The Mutant said. At least not in Denmark.

The last Mr Fix-it I had in my flat was instructed what to fix in the kitchen and shown the door very quickly.

Ian J Brooks said...

Delivery men never live up to the fantasy. Mostly their fat old and ugly.

F said...

To hell with delivery boys, I'd hope to have to call the fire brigade.

Because there really wasn't anything quite like the sex we had at the top of the fire station.