Journey through space to the Planet Fabulous, where the Ruler of the Universe will see you shortly.

Wednesday, March 04, 2009


I have tried desperately to like 'Dollhouse', but its like it just doesn't want to be liked. I haven't seen anything so self-destructive and unlikeable since one of my last flings used to get drunk and try a little Ike/Tina on me (or Chris/Reanna if you want to be thrillingly modern). Put it this way, he didn't make the second audition, and 'Dollhouse' is almost, almost consigned to that bin.

I didn't draw the line at the concept; no I think we're due for a spiritual successor to 'Alias' - and equally 'Joe 90' was ripe for an update too. What I did Take Against was the masogenistic overtones of a girl who is programmed to go out each time and get laid by (so far) nutters. And then get into trouble. If this were an update of 'Joe 90', it would be like The Professor rohypnolling Joe, raping him then and throwing him to a band of local paedophiles for pudding. And if I understand the concept correctly, Echo is meant to go free with her original memories intact at the end of her time in the Dollhouse, so isn't she going to come round and wonder why her minky is now like a clown car? If this actually goes to a full series (ha!) that's going to be around... 100 episodes? Where she's often had multiple partners, or at least it up her multiple times often by the time we're privy to the adventure starting. Now, clearly I'm no prude, but if that's the case and each time she goes back to the Dollhouse with her vadge frankly looking like its been brushing its teeth, then in 100 episodes time she's going to be able to shoplift using it and walk out of John Lewis with a deep fat fryer on her person no bother.

Anyway. I didn't even mind at the hilarious idea of casting Eliza Dushku in a role that requires subtle changes to each personality. No. What I did draw the line at was the singing episode, where Echo becomes the back-up dancer to a Beyonce/Mariah icon, and where we get full-on music numbers of such banality that the pain of my toes curling almost caused me to black out. Unfortunately it did not. And I was left to stare at the screen and wonder why the audience of said diva seemed to be mostly heterosexual couples, because if this were anything like real life, it'd be eight year old girls and Gentlement Who Can't Catch wooping and hollaring from the balcony.

You have one more week to impress me, 'Dollhouse'. And if not, I'm switching my allegence fully to 'Chuck'.


Gaymosexual said...

You are wrong. You are SO wrong.

More wrong than the time you decided to come to my birthday party dressed as Anne Widdicombe.

More wrong than the time you thought velvet jackets were cool.

More wrong than the time you thought you could stop at just ONE appletini.

The show is a slow burner yes, but shows a rich, multi layered mythology that proved to reward the viewer the more they watch.

Remember darling, Season 1 of Buffy was hardly must watch tv and look how that turned out!

You have the attention span of a GAY going twink these days dear I swear!

Lee said...

Oh Clint. I know quality when I see it. And this isn't silk, its the cheap plastic jacket you're still trying to pass off as leather. Mwah.

Tara said...

The premise (and marketing) of "Dollhouse" squicks me so HARD. Even the promise of Matt Keeslar's arms aren't enticing enough to get me to watch.

Anyhoo said...

Do John Lewis's actually sell deep fat fryers?

Orchis said...

Of course they do - they sell everything. I bought a jelly bag there last summer.