Journey through space to the Planet Fabulous, where the Ruler of the Universe will see you shortly.

Thursday, April 09, 2009

Legal Brief

Just finished 'Boston Legal' Season 4. Ah, what a fine show! A show that makes you think - and not just about whether Adam Baldwin goes commando as I do throughout 'Firefly's apparently well-crafted storytelling. The one thing I have to say against 'Boston Legal' is its obsession for focusing in on hands when people are talking in a way that is almost fetishistic. Fine; forgivable even. But what I do take against is that star James Spader has just dumpy, smooth lady-hands - hands that would not have looked out of place on Mr Stay-Puft, the marshmallow man. So when he delivers his wonderful, eloquent closing arguments, I keep thinking that someone's going to cross the streams and the whole place is going to get covered like an Ibiza foam party. Or like Lindsay Lohan's knickers now she's back on the cock after now finishing her clamming up with her Lezzay Fair.

Where was I? I'm sorry, I made myself sick up a little in my mouth there. Trials, yes! I seemed to recall this one incident that I believe went to court where a man went in for an interview, got invited out for drinks afterwards by the male interviewee, and the next thing he knows is he's waking up in hotel bed with said interviewer after having done the Beast-With-One-Back (as we gays tend to) with his potential employer. Now, I can't remember any more about it than that - whether he was guilty or not, or more importantly whether either of them were hot - so if you do recall the incident feel free to post a link in the comments box. The reason why I was mulling it over was how would I defend the employer, because frankly he made several mistakes if he was guilty. One, you don't hire a hotel room, you go back to theirs. You don't wake up with them in the morning. And most importantly, you DO NOT do this sort of thing in an interview. No, you wait til they're employed, and then go at it at the Christmas party like a dog at broth.

Like I say, something smelt fishy about the whole thing (back off Lindsay, this isn't for you). I reckon in my ill-considered opinion that it could have been an attempt to get up the corporate ladder by putting out for a potential boss. What? Why you looking at me like that? Oh yes, I've done some things I'd rather forget to get my foot on the corporate ladder - in fact climbing just high enough so that you could see right up my towelette robe. And I do say this clutching my pearls in a moment of vulnerability as I recall the terrible sheets in that Slough Travelodge. Oh the things we do for a head start in the giddy world of business...

In short, I doubt you'd have had to drug me if it comes to an interview to get the job. I'd be the one up the bar afterwards going "This is my drink here. This one! The sparkling cava. Yes, it has bubbles so I can't tell if anything is dissolving in it! And did I tell you I have no sense of smell? At all? And that I'll repeatedly turn my back to check my phone! Yes, this drink! That's it - the very one with the funnel hanging out the top!"

Because who hasn't been into work the following day on more roofies than it needs to take down a racehorse? I mean honestly, I was so spaced that the only way they could get me to work was disguising the project I was on as a Facebook application.


KYLE DEVIN said...

Dear Glitter4Brains - Found you in the dark by accident. Maybe it was the reflection off the glitter. Clever and interesting blog - I read backwards to learn about you. Must say I still know nothing about you except you are witty and a man exquisite taste.

Lee said...

Well, ain't you the sweetest thing! x