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Friday, April 03, 2009

Repainting the Hull

Well, apparently the UK is gripped in 'Michelle Obama Fever' at the moment. Honeys, no. No we're not. I've seen drag queens with more realistic hair.

And speaking of which, did you see what was going on with Queen Latifa?! She's being sued for apparently not paying her stylist! The horror!

Well, I have a lot of time for Queen L. And lets not give any credence to the rumours going around that she's a big ol' lezzy dish-licker. You won't get me stooping so low to point out that she may like a bit of the old Kit-Kat Shuffle (you know, four fingers then take a break) with a member of the same sex, because if she does then good for her. Oh yes, if she wants to look good for any man - or woman - then that's brilliant. But, bugger me backwards with a copy of 'Donnie Darko', sued for by her stylist for$1 million dollars?

What exactly is she doing? Granted she has some of the plumpest lady-bumps in Hollywood, but are they so large that they are like the Sydney Harbour Bridge - you get to one side and have to go back to the beginning and start painting again? Or is it cosmetic and does she naturally have a face that looks like Bill Nighy's nutsack on a hot day or what? I haven't been this confused and unsure since 'Mi Chico Latino'-era Geri Halliwell.

I sympathize to an extent; I do have a need for the odd facial scrub due to my T-Zone being so oily. Like seriously, it's a real heath hazard. I can be face-down on a pillow and one shunt too hard from a gentleman caller can cause me to skid right off into the wall. It's a peril, it really is. I should be claiming on the NHS.

So $1 million dollars is an awful lot of make up. Which is odd because I didn't think that make-up was used at all by dy-

4 comments:

Young Thos. said...

Well, the article DOES say the suit is for the money she was owed for developing Queen Latifah's cosmetics line (plus interest, I imagine). That's not actually all that unrealistic.

But it's more fun to imagine it your way. :)

Gaymosexual said...

Speak for yourself dear, I am all Obama'd up to the hilt and Michelle is my new muse!

Like your hairline is real anyway...

uhfdf said...
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Lee said...

Oh like I read the article.

And Clint - my hair is as real as your boobs.