Journey through space to the Planet Fabulous, where the Ruler of the Universe will see you shortly.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Man Sitting

The war of the sexes just took a petty turn: in the fine city of Boston they have started a campaign against 'man sitting'. You know, when a fine youth usually in tracksuit bottoms take up a little extra space in order to display their produce by the means of a little wider leg-room. Personally I think its a lovely sight on the way to work, and one of the few perks that get me through the morning. The others being my hipflask and my cheerful, giving demeanor when handsome strangers ask if I 'have the time?' Especially if there's a hilarious misunderstanding and their hotel room is actually quite close.

What distresses me more about this man-sitting campaign is firstly that they have badges that are so badly designed they look like Microsoft clip-art. And secondly that they may be trying to bring the campaign over here to England. Look at what you could be staring at across the isle:

I look forward to seeing them try, where some sexually-frustrated spinster spies a man with his legs apart over the way, coughing dramatically and tapping their lapel like a magpie with A.D.D. No-one would take the blindest bit of notice. And if we're going to give up comfort, we should expect a similar loss on the opposite side of the gender war. I shall make you a deal: we'll sit 'properly' if you stop reading Mormon abstinence clap-trap 'Twilight' on the tube.

Deal? Deal.


Kathleen Bradean said...

And yet, no one seems to object when a girl sits like that. Of course, she wouldn't be the type to read Trashlight (sparkle, Edward, sparkle!)

Have I mentioned that I adore you?

Stephen said...

Marvelous, we need to sit splayed it lets ones
parts have air

Stepfordtart said...

Hello Lee - I know Im a bit late but I just had to say I just laughed out loud in a totally inappropriate fashion at 'Tammy Flu'. I tried explaining to my husband why it was funny but...well...he's just a humourless bastard. s x